Come join the winner of the 2009 Nobel “Iron Chef” Prize on a culinary review of three years of the Hope’n'Change Administration. Bon Appetit!
11×17 inch full-bleed medium-res color .jpg images:
Inside spread, 940kb
Outside spread, 664kb
Assembly instructions:
1. Print two-sided on 11×17 “full-bleed” color printer.
2. Fold in thirds so that the panel with the old Metro car and the title “Chef Barack’s Famous Democratic Diner” shows as the front cover.
3. Et voila!
So, just to recap:
When the Egyptian Revolution broke out, it was weeks before Obama could come up with anything to say about it — and when he finally did, it was a bunch of weak, mumbled platitudes about people wanting “change” in remarks that sounded as if they were meant to be delivered at a Chamber Of Commerce convention.
When the Libyan Revolution escalated into civil war, Obama sat on his ass for at least a month before doing the only thing he knows how to do — and, from all accounts, Obama’s just joined the Bush League over there as well.
Meanwhile, in Syria, where the government has called out the military to crush demonstrations and other popular dissent, Obama’s done nothing but “consider sanctions”. I’m sure Assad’s pissing in his shoes over that news.
In Yemen, the government’s escalated its crackdown on mass demonstrations. Nothing from the White House but the sound of crickets chirping.
In Bahrain, the government is ratcheting up its intimidation of journalists and bloggers. Obama’s got nothin’. He did drop some really good Donald Trump jokes at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, though.
And, speaking of combovers… with the wave of popular uprisings against authoritarian rulers sweeping across North Africa and the Middle East, it’s nice to see that hasn’t distracted Obama’s focus on his all-important birth certificate situation; yessir, folks, he’s totally on top of that issue.
In his short, curt remarks following the long-anticipated release of his long-form birth certificate, Obama commented that he didn’t “…have time for this kind of silliness”. What’s hilarious about this is that in his allowing himself to be baited by Donald Trump, he’s only increased the flow of silliness. In response to the release of Obama’s real, actual birth certificate, proving that he was, in fact, born in Hawaii — which became a state about two years before he was born there — the Birthers still don’t believe he’s a citizen, and are now complaining that he’s still not qualified to hold office because he grew up in “a Muslim country” and didn’t attend a US public school, and any number of other excuses.
In a lot of ways, your Birthers are like your Fake Moon Landing Conspiracy nutjobs — even when presented with absolutely incontrovertible evidence that they’re wrong, their brains are ratcheted so tightly that they can only come up with even more absurd excuses as to why the evidence is faked, or that more evidence is needed. Remember when the Lunar Reconaissance Orbiter transmitted its first set of low-orbit, high-resolution images of the Apollo landing sites, clearly showing Lunar Module Ascent Stages, deployed scientific instruments, parked rovers — and, in some cases, rover tracks and trails worn by the astronauts’ boots on the surface? Most folks thought this would shut the Fake Moon Landing kooks up for good. Huh, some hope. As I’d personally predicted among friends, when the first LRO images of the Apollo sites were released, the very first response from the Fake Moon Landing nuts was that the images were faked with Photoshop.
It’s the same with the Birthers; their first responses were some lame crap about how it’s a “layered” pdf, it’s just a pdf image and we have no physical copy to inspect, it’s a fake, it’s a fake, it’s a fake — and the media’s falling all over themselves to cover this clownshit to the exclusion of everything else, except for the Royal Wedding. Dumbasses. Why am I not surprised?
Medium-res grayscale .jpg image: horizontal format, 772kb; vertical format, 568kb.
Late last week, not long after Barack Obummer announced there’d be no US “boots on the ground” in Libya, the New York Times and Los Angeles Times revealed — much to my total lack of surprise — that the US did, in fact, have the proverbial boots on the ground in the form of CIA spooks functioning as “advisors” and gathering intelligence to share with Libya’s “Toyota Tigers”.
Even more interesting was this report on the CIA connections of Libya’s new rebel commander, Khalifa Hifter. Apparently, Mr. Hifter defected from Gadhafi’s army about twenty-five years ago and was living a comfortable life in the suburbs of Washington, DC, until he suddenly felt moved to come to the aid of his motherland in its most desperate hour of need.
“Verr-rrry innn-teresting…!”
– Arte Johnson, as the German soldier on Laugh-In
11×17 inch medium-res color jpeg image, 824kb.
OK, gang, let me run through this one more time: President Barack Obama, Nobel Peace Prize winner, quoted by Al Jazeera in a statement as opposing violence against civilians – on the same day that his Predator drones engaged in more slaughter of civilians in Pakistan – has sold a shit-ton of weapons to Saudi Arabia who, in turn, has joined the army of Bahrain in the massacre of unarmed civilian protesters in the streets of Bahrain. Is that pretty much it? Have I missed anything here?
While you chew on that, here’s some footage via Russia Today from Bahrain of soldiers using automatic weapons – supplied by the US – to shoot down unarmed civilian protesters in the streets.
And while you digest that, here’s a Blast From Yer Past, just to give you a little context: The Color Purple author Alice “In Wonderland” Walker, in the UK Guardian in April of 2008, gushing shamelessly in what can only be termed a love letter to Barack Obama:
He is, in fact, a remarkable human being, not perfect but humanly stunning, like King was and like Mandela is.
Yeah, that’s right; Alice Walker compares Barack Obama – hypocrite, warmonger, house slave for the oligarchy – to black resistance heroes Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela. Read on for the full load of lulz, if you can stand it. As for myself, I’m taking this occasion to get out of the studio for awhile and catch up on my daytime drinking.
11×17 inch medium-res color jpeg image, 472kb
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