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“…Even in his brief remarks to reporters Tuesday, Trump made clear that his sole concern in terms of the economy is the financial markets. ‘The most important thing by far — including whether our stock market, which, by the way, is at an all-time high — but including whether our stock market goes up or down a little bit, the most important thing by far is Iran cannot have a nuclear weapon,’ he said, adding, ‘Every American understands’…”

Oh, they understand, alright, ya’ goddamn loser.
They understand that it’s Luigi Time.

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If you’re the kind of person who’s up to their goddamn neck with seeing millions impoverished and immiserated by capitalism (and I know I am) the news of the rash of warehouse arsons a couple of weeks back – including a $600m whomper in California – put a smile on your face.

As luck would have it, however, Trump’s blockade of the Iraninan blockade of the Strait Of Hormuz (you’re it, no tagbacks!) is pushing gasoline prices higher by the day, meaning that simple arson may soon be out of reach of your average pissed-off working-class wage slave.

So, as any good revolutionary would do – adapt!

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Starring in order of appearance: Some Harvard Economics dweeb, author of “Some Crap You Bought To Read On The Plane”; some wild-ass up-all-night, Monster Energy-guzzling, stock-market playing Wall Street geek, author of “Some Crap You Bought To Read On The Plane”; and some shallow, glitzed-up ex-Chamber Of Commerce honcho who’s now the executive director of some big-ass retailers’ association, author of “Some Crap You Bought To Read On The Plane”.

Inspired by a lively, witty exchange between some pals on Bluesky a couple of weeks ago, riffing on business media pundit shartage.

(At this point, has there ever been a panelist or Guest Contributing Analyst on The Network Formerly Known As MSNBC who hasn’t been pushing a book on the air lately?)

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‘They can still see his headless body stalking through the night
In the muzzle flash of Roland’s Thompson gun’
– Warren Zevon, “Roland The Headless Thompson Gunner,” 1978

This old chestnut from my crazed student daze wasn’t really historically apropos to this cartoon, but it was stuck in my head the whole time I was working on it. It was in our Dorm Top Forty in senior year, when I was drawing in the Yipster Times and my buds and I were getting ready to pie the Dean. I couldn’t begin to explain it; the sonofabitch just kinda leaped out of my memory, cranked to 11.

But, let’s just put those old giggles aside for now, and take ourselves a zesty, steamy gawk at the front page of Pravda On The Potomac from last Thursday (as I write this) – or, as I called it, the “Venezuela Special”. JEEEEzus CHRIST, willya LOOK at that goddamn mess. The main head on the front-page lead piece on the Donster’s latest yo-ho-ho’ing looks as if they’re in on the Cheer For Bullying, Piracy And Thievery Without Actually Cheering For Bullying, Piracy And Thievery Challenge – nothing if not the internal agonizing and mental pretzel-twisting of my imperialist Liberal friends’n’fam made publicly visible. They’re actually in favor of something the Donster is doing, and so they’re just going all splungy. So, what’s he gonna do with the goddamn tanker, now – open his own gas-station chain? “TrumpGas”? He’s already started up his own social-media site and plastered his name all over all kinds of shit, why not gas stations? “You can trust your car to the man who…”

…but, enough of that; let’s move on to the featured foto on the left, where the true hilarity ensues – in which The Courageous Venezuelan Opposition Leader* Who Looks Like The Villainess In A Telenovela And Who Begged Trump To Invade Her Country And Who Can’t Come Out Of Hiding To Accept Her Cracker Jack Peace Prize Sends Her Daughter Instead.

*Note that here, as in all cases, the phrase “opposition leader” in the US press is a stand-in for the phrase “USAID, NED and multiple-corporate-backed right-wing US stooge”.

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