So, to recap: Apparently due to power utility malfeasance, wildfires break out on the island of Maui, State of Hawaii. Many Hawaiians die and are still dying, from all reports. Catching up with President Gropey Joe in Drunken College Dipshit Central — aka Rehoboth, Delaware — reporters asked El Presidente about the Maui situation, to which he replied “no comment” and clambered on into his Presidential Escalade.

It may be unlikely to guess the final death toll in Maui, but it’ll be easy enough to guess the total death count from the $200m in refills for their fancy truck-mounted rocket launchers to keep up their ongoing, Ukrainian meat-grinding “Duck Soup” Offensive.

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Well, kiddies, for those of you following the little Democracy™ game, it’s no secret that DNC voters are about as enthusiastic over Joe Biden next year as they’d be over having to eat glass. So, for all those desperate Dems who can’t seem to bust out of the electoral prison, the idea of a primary challenge sounds made of awesome.

So, who do they get — a fresh, bold progressive insurgent in the Bernie Sanders mold? Nahh, hell no, man — they get a xenophobic antivax Kennedy spawn and a bougie self-help guru who’s the “spiritual adviser” to Oprah. OPRAH, f’crissake. Hell, man, if that’s not a prime qualification for the White House, I’d like to know what is.

Hello, Second Trump Administration.

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Still smarting from MSNBC’s thrilling re-enactment of the O.J. Simpson Police Chase on the day of Trump’s arraignment, my daily random 15 seconds of MSNBC the other morning included the morning babblers queefing out the phrases “above the law” and “rule of law” more times than I could count. All I could think of in that moment was Richard Nixon, who committed a metric shit-tonne of crimes against international law and the U.S. Constitution and who avoided an impeachment trial and accountability by resigning; and George W. Bush, a thug with a record as long as his goddamn arm who not only avoided accountability through impeachment and the International Criminal Court, but who also scored a one-man show at the goddamn Kennedy Center.

But naahh; nobody is above the law. Somebody hold me back.

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Well, hot damn diggety; Trump’s been indicted again, and Liberals’ nipples are exploding with delight all over the US of goddamn A. MSNBC was actually showing us continuous helicopter shots of the motorcade taking Trump to the courthouse while the anchors were babbling, just bashing our heads in with it.

Personally, I got some serious giggles about the way he went about snagging the documents and storing them — like, in the ballroom. Forgetting for a moment that that room already looks like the set of an old Hercules movie — the goddamn ballroom, f’crissake. It looked like the scene after Ferdinand Marcos was deposed from power and he and Imelda were racing around their place trying to shred all their incriminating secret documents before they fled the country — boxes of documents stacked, open and strewn all over, garbage bags full of shredded documents, jammed shredders abandoned all over the place, real amateur-hour shit.

If the Donmonster had any class at all, he’d have just hired an interior decorator to help him hide that stuff in plain sight.

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