So, to recap: Apparently due to power utility malfeasance, wildfires break out on the island of Maui, State of Hawaii. Many Hawaiians die and are still dying, from all reports. Catching up with President Gropey Joe in Drunken College Dipshit Central — aka Rehoboth, Delaware — reporters asked El Presidente about the Maui situation, to which he replied “no comment” and clambered on into his Presidential Escalade.

It may be unlikely to guess the final death toll in Maui, but it’ll be easy enough to guess the total death count from the $200m in refills for their fancy truck-mounted rocket launchers to keep up their ongoing, Ukrainian meat-grinding “Duck Soup” Offensive.

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Well, kiddies, for those of you following the little Democracy™ game, it’s no secret that DNC voters are about as enthusiastic over Joe Biden next year as they’d be over having to eat glass. So, for all those desperate Dems who can’t seem to bust out of the electoral prison, the idea of a primary challenge sounds made of awesome.

So, who do they get — a fresh, bold progressive insurgent in the Bernie Sanders mold? Nahh, hell no, man — they get a xenophobic antivax Kennedy spawn and a bougie self-help guru who’s the “spiritual adviser” to Oprah. OPRAH, f’crissake. Hell, man, if that’s not a prime qualification for the White House, I’d like to know what is.

Hello, Second Trump Administration.

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Still smarting from MSNBC’s thrilling re-enactment of the O.J. Simpson Police Chase on the day of Trump’s arraignment, my daily random 15 seconds of MSNBC the other morning included the morning babblers queefing out the phrases “above the law” and “rule of law” more times than I could count. All I could think of in that moment was Richard Nixon, who committed a metric shit-tonne of crimes against international law and the U.S. Constitution and who avoided an impeachment trial and accountability by resigning; and George W. Bush, a thug with a record as long as his goddamn arm who not only avoided accountability through impeachment and the International Criminal Court, but who also scored a one-man show at the goddamn Kennedy Center.

But naahh; nobody is above the law. Somebody hold me back.

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Those of you who know me well enough have heard me often joke about my now-customary Daily Accidental Random 15 Seconds Of MSNBC. For the past two weeks or so, it’s been the Donald Trump Indictment Show almost 24/7, to the exclusion of everything else going on in the world — uprising in France, poisoned air and water in Ohio and Indiana, Pentagon leaks exposing Amerika’s ugly naked ass over its action in Ukraine, you name it.

One morning about a week or so back, for the entire 15 seconds it took me to bring in Mrs. F’s coffee and Washington Post to the master bedroom, the babbling anchorbabe creaming her panties over the Trump indictment must’ve burbled the word “democracy” at least a dozen times. Normally, I’d suggest a drinking game, but I wouldn’t want to be responsible for anyone ending up in the ER after trying to throw back a shot every time some talking Barbie doll queefed out the word “democracy” on MSNBC.

The really hysterical thing is that — as per usual in this goddamn town — the Pushing Wing of the Party is more than willing to instigate the arrest and trial of a former guy — uhh, former President who leads the Shoving Wing of the Party, but not for any actual crimes against the People, as the leaders of the Pushing Wing of the Party are entirely complicit and would expose themselves. So, a cheap-ass sex scandal it is — again.

And what especially sucks is that the sonofabitch will never, ever see the inside of a prison cell for any crime ever, because the Democrats need him to run against. Hell, why provide a viable progressive alternative when you can just make up an enemy to jerk the Left back into line, amirite? LBJ never went to trial for any crimes, or Nixon, or Reagan, or Clinton — hell, George W. Bush not only never stood trial for his crimes, he got a goddamn one-man show at the Kennedy Center. Bah, fuck art.

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