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Starring in order of appearance: Some Harvard Economics dweeb, author of “Some Crap You Bought To Read On The Plane”; some wild-ass up-all-night, Monster Energy-guzzling, stock-market playing Wall Street geek, author of “Some Crap You Bought To Read On The Plane”; and some shallow, glitzed-up ex-Chamber Of Commerce honcho who’s now the executive director of some big-ass retailers’ association, author of “Some Crap You Bought To Read On The Plane”.

Inspired by a lively, witty exchange between some pals on Bluesky a couple of weeks ago, riffing on business media pundit shartage.

(At this point, has there ever been a panelist or Guest Contributing Analyst on The Network Formerly Known As MSNBC who hasn’t been pushing a book on the air lately?)

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When I first got the word going around that the Citibank building in Dubai had been bombed, my first thought was “will I still have to pay my bill next month?” Then, one after the other, like Santa Claus dropping goodies on nearly every company involved in surveilling the Palestinians and supplying military intel to Israel – data centers for Amazon, Apple, Microsoft, Palantir, Oracle, Citibank… I couldn’t not pretend to enjoy capitalism’s reaction when the only thing it truly values gets the living shit blasted out of it.

“We’re sorry, but ‘Capitalism’ is 404 at this time…”

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“Now Democrats are trying to translate visceral outrage into political strategy, even though there’s little consensus on how to press forward on issues where the party has recently struggled to earn voters’ trust.”
– Matt Brown reporting at AP, 01.21.2026

“Scrambling to figure out…” says the AP headline, and that pretty much sums up what the Democratic Party is all about. Once again, as in Palestine – in a situation where the moral and ethical choices are clear to anyone, Democrats are “scrambling” to figure out what the hell they stand for – and if the DNC has to “scramble” to figure out what the proper choices are here, then it’s obvious at this point that the Democratic Party is a garbage institution which stands for absolutely jack. Whenever you hear these crawlers talking about translating outrage into “strategy”, or “harnessing” popular energy, it’s all about sucking the blood of the People’s popular movements, co-opting and shipping them off to the Movement Graveyard.

Anyone who actually follows my work here regularly will know about my personal “tradition” of the “Random 15” – that is, 15-30 seconds of whatever is being vomited out over MSNOW when I come upstairs with our first cups of the morning… and this week on “Morning Joe”, my Random 15 been one dime-a-dozen DNC “strategiest” after another, one Contributing Guest Analyst after another, clutching pearls and wailing “Oh, won’t somebody think of the MIDTERMS?” in the wake of the uprising breaking out in the face of fascist thuggery in Minnesota.

That’s really pretty much what it’s all about with these clods – not liberty, justice, prosperity, fascism vanquished, any of that cool shit – nahh, just winning another pointless-ass midterm election, hustling the People into giving their symbolic consent to rule by charlatans, defusing the power of the People and diverting it into empty useless rituals like “democracy”. The Democrats are all about defanging the People, beating back a much-needed revolution – a much-needed civil war, even – because as history teaches us, at the end of the day, Liberals are really OK with fascism.

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With a big ol’ School Book Depository Anniversary Day salute to all you poor-ass marks who showed out for this shit show. For me, personally, it just wasn’t worth a whole goddamn day of hanging out listing to bitter Democrats and fauxgressives shitting all over the Left in the drizzling goddamn damp for maybe a half-hour set of Dropkick Murphys at the end of it all.

Doubtless, aforementioned marks’ nipples are certainly exploding with delight at the prospect of the DNC apparatchiks on Occupied Capitol Hill finally getting their damp, stanky little mitts on ZOMG TEH FILES… and meanwhile, I keep wondering how many Palestinians were murdered today while the Democratic Party and the New York Times and MSNOW keep yelling their goddamn faces off about Jeffrey Goddamn Epstein.

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