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When I first got the word going around that the Citibank building in Dubai had been bombed, my first thought was “will I still have to pay my bill next month?” Then, one after the other, like Santa Claus dropping goodies on nearly every company involved in surveilling the Palestinians and supplying military intel to Israel – data centers for Amazon, Apple, Microsoft, Palantir, Oracle, Citibank… I couldn’t not pretend to enjoy capitalism’s reaction when the only thing it truly values gets the living shit blasted out of it.

“We’re sorry, but ‘Capitalism’ is 404 at this time…”

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(That Melania doc sure was a massive W if ever there was one. 11 x 17 inch medium-res color .jpg image, 1.2mb)

Does having to close the Kennedy Center after shitting all over it count as a victory? How about making a laughingstock of yourselves by shitting your pants over a Super Bowl halftime show? Or, how about alienating most of America – and the Earth – by shitting on the remaining credibility of every major American institution? Honestly, I thought it was a parody when this stinkburger of a statement first hit Bluesky earlier this week, until I traced it down to “X” and started spotting it all over the papers about the same time. Dear god, does his staff just let the sonofabitch write his own goddamn press releases, just blurt out whatever he feels like on his tr00th.social accounts without taking him aside and giving him pointers on how not to write like a goddamn 1950s B-movie dictator? “Victories pour in”…? oh, man, you can almost imagine him mush-mouthing it out in that smarmy, 19th-hole happy-hour, three-martinis-into-it NYC real-estate hustler voice.

“Distract, depress, and divide”? Oh, christ, are they channeling Spiro Agnew now, too? And that “Don’t Be A Panican” headline – where the hell are they getting that shit? What’s the next communiqué going to open with – “Turn That Frown Upside Down”?

Sadly, the recent flurry of media rumors of El Presidente crapping his pants at a recent White House press event turned out to be false, as somehow pants-crapping seemed a perfect metaphor for the current state of American politics and society.

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Inspired by a Bluesky thread about all the DNC astroturf front outfits hogging all the public protest space, and how they plan on exploiting the situation in Minnesota. I’ve seen where the Fifty Fifty One dipshits and their pals are already making some moves.

“SCRising has a strong commitment to nonviolent action. We expect all participants to seek to de-escalate any potential confrontation with those who disagree with our values…”

– even if Those Who Disagree are armed, lawless fascist thugs hell-bent on oppressing, mass-murdering, disappearing and imprisoning us all, and coming after your own personal posh Liberal ass, right out there in the street?

“Good Trouble”? Oh, get the hell outta my face. Would it be safe at this point to discount any opinions from anyone throwing around the phrase “good trouble”? We’re long past that; we need some people with the cojones to start some bad trouble.

And I gotta love their almost pathological clinging to Nonviolence™ dogma even as the State and Capital literally beat them down in the streets. It makes me puke. Yeah – it’ll be “peaceful” until the pigs start clobbering their stupid Liberal asses with tear gas, beanbags and flash-bangers, and anyone who fights back will be labeled an “agitator” and ratted out.

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Washington – the gangster-in-chief posing as global policeman – refuses to accept any limitations on its actions. If legal authorities, whether domestic or international, try to stand in its way, they are either punished or pushed aside.

In this topsy-turvy world, Trump’s naked exercise of colonial violence is feted as peace-making. As he was massing troops off Venezuela’s coast last month, FIFA, the international football federation, awarded him its inaugural peace prize – an honour created specifically to stroke his ego…

–Jonathan Cook on Substack, 01.06.2026

Know your enemy.
Choose your fighter.
#GlobalizeIntifada

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