“Those who play with fire will only get burnt… We hope the U.S. side can see this clearly.” — Xi Jinping, to Joe Biden, 07.28.2022

Y’ever get Chinese carry-out and play that stupid game with the fortune cookies where you scribble the phrase “in bed” at the end of the banal faux-Confucian “fortune” in a childish effort to make it sound “dirty” somehow?

Oh, c’mon; I know y’all have done it. I’ve done it a bunch — and that kind of puerile, low-brow joke seems a fitting analogy to portray the arrogance, hubris, hypocrisy, belligerence, recklessness and straight-up stupidity of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and her Provoke World War III If It’s The Last Goddamn Thing I Ever Do Tour this week. It’s as if her staff went out of their way to script the most irksome, provocative, sabre-rattling batshit takes they could possibly come up with for her, as if they just followed her around with an mp3 recorder and transcribed everything the old bat queefed out.

The really sad thing about Pelosi, Blinken, Biden and their ilk, though, is that they really, honestly think they’re the greatest goddamn thing on two legs. They really do think people are impressed with this horseshit.

Still, as an American, I have to appreciate the Speaker keeping me briefed in on who “America” is standing with right now. Between standing with Israel, the Uyghurs, the Ukraine, and now Taiwan, it’s looking like this “American” is booked pretty solid these days.

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Gropin’ Joe has made it abundantly clear at the AFL-CIO convention a week or so back that he plans to beat that “Putin’s Price Hike” horse until it’s either dead or people actually start believing that horseshit. We promised Gorbachev we wouldn’t expand NATO, then promptly spent the better part of the 1990s expanding NATO to Russia’s front stoop and fomenting pro-US regime-change “color revolutions”, but yeah, sure, Joe — it’s Putin’s war. Sonofabitch plans on distracting us from his horrid performance and our wartime austerity pain by blaming Putin for everything but the Mariners dragging ass in the AL West.

So — you heard it here first, kiddies. Supreme Court just stripped your reproductive rights? Putin made ‘em do it. That asshole boss at Starbuck’s who just canned you for union organizing? Putin did it.  Those pals of yours who promised to help move that sofa last Saturday flaked on you? Putin. That raging hottie you’ve been dating for the past 2 months just put you in the Friend Zone? Yeah, that’s right, my dude — fucking Putin.

Dude’s been one busy motherfucker lately, gotta give credit where it’s due.

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While I continue getting over surgery and tryna’ get back into a drawing groove, n’shit… let’s flash back to another war that Liberals of both parties lied, blustered and bullied their asses off to drag us into… originally did this for an immediate post-election protest response in DC; it got blasted all over, but I never actually did a blog post, except for this sloppy-ass blurb on my old static html site… so, here it is. Let’s climb aboard the TARDIS, kiddies, and set the dial for the turn of the century:
—————

After one too many mornings of watching Kerry and Bush piss-fighting over Kerry’s war record, I was begging, desperately:
Somebody, Anybody – STOP THE TORTURE of American Voters!

So, I wake up one early morning recently; as usual, my wife’s already awake and has NBC’s “Today” jabbering on the TV. In the thinning fog of my fading REM state I hear candidate John “Lurch” Kerry being interviewed, and he’s telling us how he plans to continue to uphold the corporate/military agenda, after which a Bush campaign ad denounces Lurch for being “too leftist”. I think: jeezus, it’s too damn’ early for this shit. Lurch says he’ll keep doing what the Chimp started, and the Chimp accuses Lurch of being too leftist, it’s only 7:15am, and my brain is already hurting.

Somebody, stop this torture. Somebody make it stop. Somebody, make…it…sto-oopppppp!

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Inspired by the rip-roaring coverage of atrocities, war crimes, and miscellaneous ruthlessness by America’s Official Enemy against the Ukraine in the very same corporate-owned Western media who worked itself to death to cover up atrocities, war crimes, and miscellaneous ruthlessness by the Earth’s enemy against Iraq and Afghanistan — not to mention pushing the most insane-ass kind of comic-book lies about (ahem) Weapons Of Mass Destruction — about 18, 20 years or so ago. But, now…? Cripes, man, the Boss Media in the US and its “international community” are all about war crimes and atrocities and bombed civilians and the Hague n’shit. Wotta goddamn joke.

I shit you not, kiddies — if this were a foto of a similar scene in Gaza, of Palestinian women getting ready to resist the terrorism of the IDF and Israeli colonists, do you honestly think Reuters — and MSNBC, CNN, the NY Times, the Washington Post, the Atlantic, all the usual suspects — would run some noble, heart-wrenching piece on ordinary women rushing to the defense of their country against invaders?

Naaaaahhhhhhhhhh. It’d be some horseshit about defenseless, peaceful little Israelis just minding their own while the mean, evil terrorist Palestinians try to resist the defenseless, peaceful little Israelis’ attempts to drive them out of their homes and murder them.

The likes of Reuters didn’t give a shit about civilians during the US invasion of Iraq, and they don’t really give a shit now. They didn’t give a shit about war crimes during the US occupation of Iraq and Afghanistan, and they don’t really give a shit now.

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