When our Exalted Boy Emperor and Nobel Peace Laureate, George W. Obama, caved in to the “Drill, Baby, Drill” crowd and proposed the opening of large areas of the Atlantic and Alaksan coasts and the Gulf Of Mexico for oil drilling, you could’ve knocked over your average Liberal or Pwogwessive with a feather. They were shocked — shocked — to hear that The One was proposing to allow offshore oil drilling with a plan very nearly identical to that Evil Rethuglican, George W. Bush. Mind you, I, myself, wasn’t the least bit surprised, as only with the slightest bit of search-engine rummaging, I was able to determine way back in ‘04 that Obama was a craven military-industrial stooge of the most typical kind. The really sad part is, of course, that your average Liberal or Pwogwessive will still — like your classic abused spouse — feel as if they’ve got noplace else to go and, as per usual, trudge off to the polls to pull a lever for the Democrats later this year, and in ‘12 and, also as per usual, once again feign shock and surprise when they come in for more abuse and betrayal from George W. Obama and the Democrats.

“Drill, baby, drill”…? “Spill, baby, spill”, more like.

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Well, here we are, a year into this glorious new post-racial, post-partisan Hope’n'Change Era, so let’s just pause to take stock of all the momentous Change that President Booker T. Obama has brought us:

The Economy: worse. President Hope has given away absurdly huge buttloads of our tax money to bankers and Wall Street. Bonus? Of course. That’s what the bankers have done to us for the past year or so.

Health Care: worse. To paraphrase a recent Keith Olbermann broadcast, it’s not health, it’s not care, and it sure as hell isn’t reform. President Change’s idea of health care reform involves shutting single-payer supporters out of the “debate”, massive corporate giveaways to the health insurance and pharmaceutical industries, the threat of fines or jail for people who don’t buy corporate health insurance even if they can’t afford it — and if you can afford decent health insurance, President Yes We Can wants to tax the living shit out of your benefits. Still, with any luck, that Coakley woman will lose that special Senate election in Massachusetts, and it’ll be Sayonara Charlie to The Bill That Needs Killing.

Civil Liberties: worse. Some doorknob in Detroit tries to blow up a plane with his underwear, and the next thing we know, President Hope wants to institute Jim Crow for Muslims and make us all to pose for digital x-ray porn. Meanwhile, one of President Hope’s fellow Harvard punks over at the Office of Information and Regulatory Affairs wants to assign CIA spooks to troll duty at any blogs that happen to bug him.

Illegal Foreign Wars: worse. President Change — or, as Code Pink called him during the campaign, the “Peace Candidate” — makes a big-ass deal out of appearing to seriously ponder the situtation before initiating a 40,000-troop escalation of the war in The Graveyard Of Empires — or, as it’s more commonly called, Afghanistan. The Nobel Prize committee finishes slurping the dregs out of the bottom of the Kool-Aid bowl and awards President Change a Nobel Peace Prize; President Change, on accepting the Prize, gives a pro-war speech. Now, that’s class.

So, congratulations to one and all of you Obamabots who allowed yourselves to be motivated by fear and desperation and fall for the first slick-assed huckster who can speak in complete sentences and knows how to pronounce the word “nuclear”. I just can’t thank you enough.

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Oh, gaahhhdddd! Not only another election cartoon, but a cartoon with items metaphorically labeled, old-school! Jeez, I can hear my pal Gregor yelling right now… “Goddammit, Mike! Herblock is DEAD!”

Yeah, y’know… once the election ideas get going, it’s pretty much hopeless. The usual Repuglican “stars” are already making noises about running; we’re hearing about Sarah Palin possibly running (sigh), and Newt Gingrich (spit) — and I even heard about Dick Cheney (double spit) on Joe Scarborough’s program this morning (triple spit).

OK, granted, 2012…I may be a bit ahead of myself, here, but still… if you check out The One’s record of achievement (or lack of same) in just his first year in office, plus the rash of FAIL in the special elections this year, you’re looking at a raft of Donkeycratic politicians with a whole fistful of “achievements” pinned to their respective asses, and damn’ near little ability to defend them come next year’s midterms — which, by the way, will be held after the Afghanistan debacle’s had about a year to soak in.

So, would that be next year’s repudiation of last year’s repudiation?

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So, anyway, there’s been a lot of yammering in the press lately about President Obullshit giving a “stress test” to all the banks. Now, just so I’ve got it straight: Obama’s been pissing our tax money away on a bunch of fat, waddling, failing big-assed banks — as well as his Wall Street buddies — and he’s just now getting around to giving them a “stress test”? D’ahh ha ha ha hah. From the looks of things, those “stress tests” probably aren’t any less bogus than those cheesy “stress tests” run from kiosks or card tables on the streets by the Church of Scientology.

I don’t know about the banks, but I’m sure there’s about a hundred million or so workers and their families who are feeling pretty goddamn’ stressed right about now…

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