Once again, it’s time for the latest headline news. And here, with the headlines, is Barbie Anchorbabe:
Lately, it seems the US media have become entirely infatuated with the term “lockdown”, dropping it at every opportunity when covering breaking news such as school shootings or the recent Boston Marathon bombing, though it was once previously confined strictly to the context of prison riots.
A blogger comrade of mine, Michael Smith, puts it quite nicely in a recent post at Stop Me Before I Vote Again:
“…A whole SMSA* in ‘lockdown’ — America’s favorite word, for the last few years. Oh how we love a lockdown — more even than we used to love a parade. Lock me down, baby. Lock me down!”
Yeah, Smiff, that’s for damn’ sure; the US media sure do love ’em some lockdown.
*Standard Metropolitan Statistical Area, for you Census Bureau geeks out there.
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It was less than 24 hours after the bombing at the Boston Marathon when our Exalted Boy Emperor swung into action, with one of his standard-issue canned statements delivered in his standard-issue pompous, dry, professorial, I-don’t-really-mean-what-I’m-saying tone.
Amidst all the usual platitudes about prayers, courage, resiliency and pulling together, this one little bit of bluster jumped out at me:
…But make no mistake, we will get to the bottom of this. And we will find out who did this; we’ll find out why they did this. Any responsible individuals, any responsible groups will feel the full weight of justice…
…which can only mean one thing: our Exalted Boy Emperor was about to head down to the situation room with a bottle of Chardonnay and a dart board.
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Time for another headline news update, with Barbie Anchorbabe. Our top story is, for some unearthly reason, anything at all but the massive oil spill in Mayflower, Arkansas which resulted from a rupture in Exxon’s tar sands oil pipeline.
The even bigger story is the way Exxon blocked media from accessing the scene, and the FAA allowing Exxon to prevent air traffic from passing over the scene. The most reprehensible part of that story is the reaction of the corporate media to Exxon’s Soviet behavior — to sheepishly shrug its shoulders, slinking away with its tail between its legs, returning to its glitzy studios to continue whining about the sequester, pimping the phony Korean war threat, and cheering itself hoarse for gay marriage (MSNBC, I’m looking at you).
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These days — especially given Obummer’s willingness to gut Social Security and Medicare to appease the Rightists — nothing sets my internal alarms clanging quite like the sound of politicians, pundits and other Washington zombies uttering the words “Bipartisanship”, “Compromise” and “Grand Bargain”, because no matter how you slice ’em, they all translate to one thing:
We’re fucked.
With that in mind, I present this set of three parody traffic warning signs, ideal for reproduction at large sizes, mounting on quarter-inch foam core, trimming and duct-taping to traffic sign poles around your neighborhood — especially if your neighborhood happens to be Capitol Hill in Washington, DC. Have at it, folks!
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“Compromise”, 11×14 inch medium-res color .jpg image, 264kb
“Grand Bargain”, 11×14 inch medium-res color .jpg image, 268kb
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