I can’t pretend I’m not enjoying this. Don’t ask me to explain why, but watching the Democrats faceplanting has been a guilty pleasure of mine for some years now.

The Democrats have built a stellar reputation on snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, and this week’s impeachment circus didn’t disappoint. Caught Trump dead to rights instigating mob violence and an attempted putsch, and the Senate GOP told the Democrats to pound sand as per usual, leaving the Democrats once again stomping their little feet, blustering and whining like Joe Besser.

Well, I just hope the Dems have finally gotten this shit out of their system. Maybe now that this shitshow is over, they can get to work getting us some decent COVID relief… and maybe some friggin’ healthcare…?

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“We have the unusual circumstance where on the very first day of the trial, when those managers walk on the floor of the Senate, there will already be over 100 witnesses present”

—Rep. Adam Schiff (D-CA), 02.08.2021

Well, hot damn diggety; nothing fills me with confidence quite like the poetic, sage pronouncements of Mr. Russiagate, himself. Meanwhile, Jamie Raskin is cementing his role as the Tired-Ass Cliché User In-Chief:

“…Donald Trump surrendered his role as commander in chief and became inciter in chief.”

This hot mess isn’t exactly going to be last night’s lasange, that’s for goddamn sure — and those of you who love leftover lasagne like I do know what I’m talking about, and I’m the goddamn Leftover Lasagne Lover In-Chief.

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Continue reading "Impeachment II: The Reheated" »

Wow, that two grand sure went away in a hurry, didn’t it? I know I’m sure not feeling too grand right now. But, enough of this gay banter.

In a trademark eleventy-dimensional chess move, the Democrats’ promised $2000 stimulus checks promptly turned into $1400 shortly after the special runoff election in Georgia. Needless to say, your “progressive” voters — along with the millions about to lose their homes — are not amused.

Meanwhile, up here on Capitol Hill, shit’s gettin’ real. We’ll be back down to $600 before we know it.

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We’re hitting a record for COVID-19 deaths, unemployment is sky-high, another wave of evictions is hitting, the fascists are still running wild, the police are still mass-murdering Black people, but yeah — let’s impeach Trump — and find some obtuse, other-worldly reason to blame Russia while we’re at it, because what the hell.

Cripes, how the hell does that even work? The guy’s been out of office for nearly a week. If the Senate votes to convict, how do they punish him — revoke his Secret Service protection? Sieze his Federal pension? Prohibit him from running for office again? The “spanking machine”?

MSNBC commentators and guests this past week have been blurting out the word “democracy” so often you could play a drinking game; meanwhile QAnon, Patriot Prayer, the Proud Boys and the rest aren’t just going to pack it in and go home because Trump’s been bounced out of the White House…

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