Well, kiddies, for those of you following the little Democracy™ game, it’s no secret that DNC voters are about as enthusiastic over Joe Biden next year as they’d be over having to eat glass. So, for all those desperate Dems who can’t seem to bust out of the electoral prison, the idea of a primary challenge sounds made of awesome.

So, who do they get — a fresh, bold progressive insurgent in the Bernie Sanders mold? Nahh, hell no, man — they get a xenophobic antivax Kennedy spawn and a bougie self-help guru who’s the “spiritual adviser” to Oprah. OPRAH, f’crissake. Hell, man, if that’s not a prime qualification for the White House, I’d like to know what is.

Hello, Second Trump Administration.

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Still smarting from MSNBC’s thrilling re-enactment of the O.J. Simpson Police Chase on the day of Trump’s arraignment, my daily random 15 seconds of MSNBC the other morning included the morning babblers queefing out the phrases “above the law” and “rule of law” more times than I could count. All I could think of in that moment was Richard Nixon, who committed a metric shit-tonne of crimes against international law and the U.S. Constitution and who avoided an impeachment trial and accountability by resigning; and George W. Bush, a thug with a record as long as his goddamn arm who not only avoided accountability through impeachment and the International Criminal Court, but who also scored a one-man show at the goddamn Kennedy Center.

But naahh; nobody is above the law. Somebody hold me back.

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Continue reading "We Will Return" »

Well, hot damn diggety; Trump’s been indicted again, and Liberals’ nipples are exploding with delight all over the US of goddamn A. MSNBC was actually showing us continuous helicopter shots of the motorcade taking Trump to the courthouse while the anchors were babbling, just bashing our heads in with it.

Personally, I got some serious giggles about the way he went about snagging the documents and storing them — like, in the ballroom. Forgetting for a moment that that room already looks like the set of an old Hercules movie — the goddamn ballroom, f’crissake. It looked like the scene after Ferdinand Marcos was deposed from power and he and Imelda were racing around their place trying to shred all their incriminating secret documents before they fled the country — boxes of documents stacked, open and strewn all over, garbage bags full of shredded documents, jammed shredders abandoned all over the place, real amateur-hour shit.

If the Donmonster had any class at all, he’d have just hired an interior decorator to help him hide that stuff in plain sight.

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“With a test like this, success comes from what we learn, and we learned a tremendous amount about the vehicle and ground systems today that will help us improve on future flights of Starship. Thank you to our customers, Cameron County, and the wider community for the continued support and encouragement. And congratulations to the entire Space team on an exciting first flight test of Starship!”
— SpaceX statement 04.20.2023

“Where’s the KABOOM?
There was supposed to be an Earth-shattering KABOOM!”
— Marvin The Martian

So, I was hitting some sativa bud and banging my head on the table the other day trying to shake loose a decent France uprising cartoon, and THIS weirdness fell out. I’d given up on a France cartoon at the moment and was just doing my daily space geekery, reading about the spectacular SpaceX launch failure and the attendant “hah, I MEANT to do that” spin from SpaceX, when I found my train of thought wandering to the Twitter valuation crash and the Paid Blue Check shitshow and was suddenly, like…

…like, yeah; Musk was really laughing off the Twitter valuation and the hot mess about the paid Blue Check accounts that’s been all over the news lately, and then a day or two later another one of his goddamn Starship tests goes sideways on him and the SpaceX PAO flacks are babbling a bunch of balloon juice about how much they learned today, and it was one of those moments of inspiration and serendipity that screamed “quit twisting your panties trying to think of a France cartoon for a moment and jump on THIS shit, man! Here it is!” Like, yeah — crashing and burning, in metaphor and reality.

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Continue reading "A Successful Launch" »