(That Melania doc sure was a massive W if ever there was one. 11 x 17 inch medium-res color .jpg image, 1.2mb)

Does having to close the Kennedy Center after shitting all over it count as a victory? How about making a laughingstock of yourselves by shitting your pants over a Super Bowl halftime show? Or, how about alienating most of America – and the Earth – by shitting on the remaining credibility of every major American institution? Honestly, I thought it was a parody when this stinkburger of a statement first hit Bluesky earlier this week, until I traced it down to “X” and started spotting it all over the papers about the same time. Dear god, does his staff just let the sonofabitch write his own goddamn press releases, just blurt out whatever he feels like on his tr00th.social accounts without taking him aside and giving him pointers on how not to write like a goddamn 1950s B-movie dictator? “Victories pour in”…? oh, man, you can almost imagine him mush-mouthing it out in that smarmy, 19th-hole happy-hour, three-martinis-into-it NYC real-estate hustler voice.

“Distract, depress, and divide”? Oh, christ, are they channeling Spiro Agnew now, too? And that “Don’t Be A Panican” headline – where the hell are they getting that shit? What’s the next communiqué going to open with – “Turn That Frown Upside Down”?

Sadly, the recent flurry of media rumors of El Presidente crapping his pants at a recent White House press event turned out to be false, as somehow pants-crapping seemed a perfect metaphor for the current state of American politics and society.

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Y’know, it’s truly amazing when clowns like these just come right out and say it, and seem so obviously bummed about it — like, just exactly Whiskey Tango Foxtrot is wrong with nearly 90 percent of the goddamn Earth, anyway? Can’t they see we’re fighting for democracy? Bwah ha ha ha ha ha hahhh.

Perhaps it’s because nearly 90% of the Earth has already seen the USA in action in Iraq, Afghanistan, Somalia, Korea, Guantanamo, My Lai, Abu Ghraib, Nicaragua, El Salvador, Bolivia, Cuba, Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

Perhaps it’s because unlike nearly 100% of Americans, nearly 90% of the rest of Earth isn’t a bunch of goddamn indoctrinated idiots. Does anybody here remember the “Coalition Of The Willing”?

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Alright, just so I’m straight, here… we’re being thrown out of our homes, we’re losing our jobs, there’s a new COVID-19 wave hitting, fascists are terrorizing our streets, the cops are mass murdering us — not to mention that millions of us all over the country still don’t have broadband service — and Mr. Counterinsurgency Big-Shot at the White House wants to fly balloons over Cuba to “provide internet service” while they hijack connections to broadcast US State Department propaganda, including the Voice Of America.

Christ, I hate this goddamn country. I really, really fucking do.

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