Yeah, I know the Florida Legislature Dancing And Cake Story broke nearly 2 weeks ago, but at the time, I was busy finishing the job of “Finishing The Job”.

So, aaaa-aanyway… if the almighty Fact-Checking Industrial Complex is to be believed, the dancing was not at the end of the session, but before they settled down to the business of otherizing, criminalizing, villifying and immiserating a major portion of the whole goddamn state with a legislative horrorshow.

Luckily for me, though, the part of the story that was true was the cake part. According to this big, hot steamy bucket of gloat in the DC Enquirer*, a Florida legislative staffer mocked protesters at the State Capitol at the time by eating cake at their desks in front of them.

So, it seems that just this once, the cake is not a lie.

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*CONTENT WARNING: Yet another fascist rag in DC — as if the Examiner and the Times aren’t enough; article cites Andy Ngo tweets, and some shit-take dropping fascist tool declaring “Make America Florida”. They did, however, get the cake-eating part right.

Continue reading "The Cake Was Not A Lie" »

Getting up to date in our Thinning Out The Stupid Gene Department: Florida, gung-ho for reopening, beaches crowded as hell, has set a new one-day record for new COVID19 cases; even as one state after another begins mandating mask use, the governor of Georgia has stuck a blow for freedom by barring municipalities from mandating masks and, elsewhere in the Covidiot Universe, the co-founder of ReOpen Maryland — one of many groups standing up for our Constitutional right to manicures and ice cream — tested positive for COVID19 just a couple of weeks ago.

But as it’s often said — Freedom Isn’t Free.

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Throughout the campaign, the Repuglicans slang mud, made up outrageous claims based on words pulled from random context (Al Gore saying “I invented the Internet”), and made the most absurd threats they could think of to suppress minority turnout. The Donkeycrats, meanwhile, were busy bullying, belittling and threatening Nader/Green supporters and the rest of the Left for not supporting their craven, gutless asses, and threatening them with guilt for bringing down the bloody boot heel of GOP tyranny on all of us for voting Green (”a vote for Nader is a vote for Bush”).

Finally, as we all know, it came down to the good and saintly Donkeycrats against the mean old nasty Repuglicans in a close one in Florida — as some wags like to say, “close enough to steal”. The mean old nasty Repuglicans were doing things like busing in gangs of college brownshirts — these Brownshirts wore crisp white shirts and nice ties and khaki pants, though — to harass election-office workers and disrupt the recount; the good and saintly Donkeycrats, meanwhile, not wanting to reveal their years of complicity in profiling and other racist Drug War policies that created thousands of young black felons — and, subsequently, thousands of young black non-voters — were reduced to mealy-mouthed lawyerly tap-dancing about hanging chads, pregnant chads, the intent of the voter, and all sorts of other banal “meaning of is” bullshit.

In the middle of all the pissing contests in the media and in the streets in front of the Supreme Court building, there was still the Counter-Inaugural mobilizations to be planned and organized and, of course, the poster to be designed and made street-ready by the middle of December. Considering the behavior of the two major parties throughout the campaign, and especially during the Florida recount circus, the whole theater playing out in front of me started to look less like a political dispute between two election campaigns and more like a gang war, like in a Quentin Tarantino film, like Reservoir Dogs or something. The suspicion, jealousy and paranoia had gotten to be too much, and the two hoods who pulled off the caper were turning on each other.

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Continue reading "Hail to the Thieves!" »