Oh, god, I thought, is it time for another goddamn’ Presidential Election already?
This meant even more intense ravings than usual from GOP politicians and flacks — and even more intense inanity from outfits like Moral Majority and the PTL Club — on the subject of those good old traditional values, and the way we lived in those good old days when life was so much simpler, when men were men and women were dragged around by their hair, and any man could nab as many wretched little mutated fish as he could spear if he had enough drive and entrepreneurial spirit.
For instance, in this poignant portrayal of a traditional American post-nuclear family, we see that the venerable Boy Scouts Of America is still in there helping young boys learn valuable outdoor skills, and to say no to drugs.
Still, it wasn’t as if Reagan couldn’t have phoned it in, seeing as how the Democrats certainly seemed to that year — nominating the most tepid, boring, centrist excuse for Liberal they could find, the guy who nearly kept us from going to the Moon, Walter Mondale, along with “fellow” centrist Liberal and boardroom feminist, U.S. Rep. Geraldine Ferraro. Darth Reagan, of course, took it in an “official” landslide, although a tally of all votes cast out of all eligible voters proved that the perennial dark-horse favorite “Nobody” finished first.