So, I’m poring over the Drudge Report in my daily search for cheap laffs, and finding out what the Enemy is up to, and I come across this Associated Press dispatch from Baghdad reporting on the Iraqi reporter who threw his shoes at President Chimp, and thinking “whoa, that’s some cheap laffs – and he almost hit the sonofabitch, too! Sweet!” and move on with whatever I was doing…

Later that day, I go by Drudge again, and find another story from Agencie France-Presse noting that the perpetrator of this “shoe-icide attack” is being hailed as a hero in most of the Arab World, and the next thing I know the whole world’s raising hell to get the guy out of prison, it’s being reported that he’s being beaten in custody, there are demonstrations and rallies all over in solidarity, and I’m thinking…holy shit, this story’s really grown some legs, man!

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At least up until the last “election” or two, you used to hear a lot – especially from the Donkeycrats – about the proverbial “Big Tent”, ostensibly used to symbolize the Party’s diverse constituencies, but actually just a cheesy way for your Party to pander to segments of the voting population it normally wouldn’t give the time of day to.

Once again though, huge props to the Obama Cult for taking this concept a bold step further. Amazing, how quick and efficient he was, too.

Hear that, UFPJ? Hear that, Code Pink? He already wants to expand the war into Afghanistan? He’s roped in your votes, he’s got what he needed from you, now your ass is under the bus!

Environmentalists? Didn’t he shift his position on offshore oil drilling? D’ohh, under you go. Looking like some awesome parties at the Inauguration, though.

Gays? Lesbians? Let’s not even go there. He doesn’t even want you to be able to marry. He’s even invited that born-again creep, Rick Warren, the Purpose-Driven Gay Basher, to speak at his friggin’ Inauguration! Why the hell did you all go for him so much? Doesn’t matter, you’re gone anyway. Crunch. Ouch.

I could go on, but you can see where I’m headed. The wheels on the bus go ’round and ’round…

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So, while I’m just finishing choking down the news about the DC Gummint — at the urging of Fox Channel 5 News — trying to sock the ANSWER Coalition with a fine for exercising basic Constitutional rights, I get a mailing from Rob Naiman’s “Just Foreign Policy” list mentioning that their Iraqi Deaths Estimator has just rolled over a million. That’s right, a million Iraqi dead since the “Shock’n’Awe” of March 2003 — or 1,012,979, to be exact, as I write this.

That’s right, one Friggin’ MILLION. Jesus Herbert Walker Christ. And that’s not counting the million and a half or more Iraqis this nation murdered with sanctions throughout the 1990s (nobody died when Clinton lied? My ass.).

I’d been noticing lately that Fox News hasn’t spent a whole lot of time reporting on Iraq because, y’know, there just isn’t any goddamn’ good news coming out of that goddamn’ place, unless you count some oft-repeated DoD press release mentioning that the Army has rebuilt some goddamn’ stretch of highway from the airport (that they bombed the piss out of just a while back).

Yeah, when your Empire’s crumbling, the outrage and dissatisfaction are so palpable you can cut ’em with a goddamn’ knife, the one thing you need your press to be doing is exposing the nefarious doings of bands of left-wing wheatpasters defacing the Seat Of Our Empire with free expression.

Left-wing posters? In OUR Capital?

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So, anyway, I see last week where Congress approves another million billion zillion dollars for President Chimp’s War in Iraq. No surprises there. Then, this bridge collapses in Minnesota, to much wailing and voyeurism from the press, and the predictable calls for us to send our prayers to Minneapolis — even though no prayer requests were forthcoming for the victims of similar bridge collapses caused by US bombing of Iraqi civilians.

Shortly afterwards though, Congress somehow manages to find another few hundred mil or so under their sofa cushions — a huge-ass surprise, to see that anything was left after the million billion zillion they just poured into the friggin’ war.

Then, this past weekend, as reported so gloriously on AP, President Chimp himself pays a visit to the collapse site and casts his own personal eyeballs on the scene, allows himself to be personally spoken to by a common, ordinary worker, makes a big fat promise about repair and restoration — but, get this, he says “I make no promises on the timetable”; he never was much on timetables, was he — has his picture taken in a hardhat surveying the devestation, gets back onto the helicopter, and flies home.

So, all this stuff starts crashing together in my head — fat wads of cash pissed away on an illegal war, public works budgets going begging, bridges collapsing in the USA — at which point the conceptual collisions build to critical mass and, just as the pile detonates, my first thought out loud is, “whoa, payback’s a bitch!”

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