Well, fan-damn tastic! The Armani Democrats are in the house! Let’s find out what new, exciting changes we’ll see on these major issues…
I’ll never forget seeing Nancy Pelosi on Meet The Press back in May; after mentioning that the impeachment of President Chimp is “off the table” — despite having a record of impeachable offenses as long as his arm — she then goes on to say that when the Democrats get a majority in Congress in November, “it’s going to be a new day”… a statement almost as cringeworthy as her appearance on the NBC Today Show in November of ’02, after her election as House Minority Leader, where she declares the Democratic leadership “stands shoulder-to-shoulder with President Bush” in the rush to war in Iraq.

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So, a few mornings ago, I emerged from my REM fog to NBC video of Palestinian and Lebanese villages being crushed by tanks and missiles and F-16s and the sound of Matt Lauer yammering about Israel’s “right to defend itself”.

Who knows, maybe it was just the hour of the morning, or perhaps I was really and truly revulsed by Israel claiming a right to “defend itself” — by using tanks, missiles, and F-16s against already beaten-down, occupied territories in a country that’s got no imperialist power backing them up, got no tanks, got no Patriot missiles, got no F-16s, got no nukes — not to mention having no food, no water, no medicine, no services…

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Finally, a Plan For Victory! Oh, sure, the GOP may not have any real plan — and the Democrats may be even worse — but at least the Bushites have the good sense to put up big signs all around the stage reading “Plan For Victory” whenever President Chimp gives a speech. All the Democrats have is Howard The Duck, living in a party he never made.

Seriously, the Bush Regime flacks must have assumed Americans are even stupider than they actually are to serve up that old Reagan-era bromide “Stay The Course” when, in fact, there were a goodly number of us who remember that load of bullshit from back when it was still fresh and steaming. The war in Iraq is shaping up to be a Fail even more epic than Vietnam, and all President Chimp can think of is to say “Stay The Course”. What was that old Pete Seeger song… “waist-deep in the Big Muddy, and the big fool says…”

In 1989, one Dr. Francis Fukuyama penned what had to be one of the most conceited loads of triumphalist blathering ever, The End Of History, in which he claims that the fall of the USSR and its satellite regimes in Eastern Europe heralded the end of the struggle between Good and Evil (aka Capitalism and Socialism, or the absurdly distorted, simplistic media images thereof). What I found especially laughable was Fukuyama’s treatment of the USA as a state that was somehow immune to collapse and above it all, the “winner” of the aforementioned struggle when, in fact, even as US politicians and pro-capitalist idealogues celebrated the victory of “freedom”, the first rumblings of the collapse of the USA could be heard in the form of NAFTA and George I’s initiation of renewed imperialist adventurism in Panama, Iraq, and Somalia.

The end of history? No, sorry, Dr. Fukuyama, what you heard in ’89 was just the first shoe dropping. Seriously, Dr. F, didn’t you realize that if a regime the size of the USSR could end up as historical roadkill, it could just as easily happen to the USA? Jeezus, what is it with these goddamn’ Harvard jerks?

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Another personal favorite, this was commissioned by The Progressive magazine for a Counterinaugural event they were sponsoring as part of the weekend of protests coinciding with the Second Chimp Coronation.

Truthfully, though, I have to confess to not having been in DC during the Chimp’s Second Coronation as my wife and I decided we weren’t into hanging around here in the miserable depths of January, freezing our asses off in some fenced-off “free speech zone”, and chose instead to spend the week in relatively balmy New Orleans, watching our comrades shivering in bone-cold Washington on TV. Let’s face it, it was a helluva lot more fun hanging out in little jazz dives drinking beer until closing time, then stumbling down to Cafè duMonde for black coffee and beignets at 3am. Happily, though, we managed to find ourselves in a big, healthy, counterinaugural protest anyway — the Jazz Funeral For Democracy, held on a sunny, dry, 70-degree day, featuring a couple of real live New Orleans marching jazz bands in a traditional funeral parade that started at Congo Square and marched through downtown to a rally at Jackson Square, followed by a “second line” that marched through the French Quarter, finishing off at a gig at this cool little joint with a mean-assed blues band and the all-important cheap beer. God damn, they really do know how to throw a protest down there in the Big Easy.

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