“In Trump’s orbit” seems to be the favorite phrase of all the “cool kids” in the media right now after his positive COVID-19 test, rapidly gaining ground on the ever-popular “existential threat”. Without even trying, I returned an entire page of search results from newspapers, magazines, media all over the country sporting headlines or ledes with the phrase “in Trump’s orbit”. You could play a drinking game with it on cable news, but you’d end up in the ER.

So, while the media were beating this poor, misbegotten phrase to within an inch of its life, I had to ask — what, exactly, is “in Trump’s orbit”? The answer, of course, was instantly clear — spent rocket stages, dud rocket stages, derelict satellites, tools lost overboard from ISS spacewalks, the odd NRO top-secret payload, drifting fields of orbital collision debris, a Tesla roadster… wait, wut?

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So, aaaanyway… everybody and their cat have been speculating for months about what they think the “October Surprise” will be in this campaign, and wot’tha FUUUUU—

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American protest-song legend Woody Guthrie was known for the sticker on his guitar reading “This Machine Kills Fascists”.

However, the murder of unarmed Black Lives Matter protesters in Kenosha, Wisconsin by Kyle Rittenhouse — and the ongoing assaults against unarmed protesters by armed fascist thugs — have led me to conclude that there’s only one kind of machine that kills fascists — and it’s not a guitar.

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This past week, in an interview on Axios, Trump had this to say about the 150,000+ deaths from coronavirus this year: “It is what it is”. You actually have to take your hat off to something like that, something so sublimely, elegantly, ferociously tone-deaf — something even worse, in fact, than Biden’s immortal “you ain’t Black”, and that’s saying something.

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