So, as usual, I’m waking up one morning last week to find that my wife already has the morning news on. It’s CNN’s “American Morning”, just wrapping up a piece on the rebellion in Burma, and following it with one of those obnoxious, cloying Chevron Oil “human energy” ads and, though way too early, my foggy brain starts going “Burma… Chevron… Burma… Chevron… ” …and, as usual, a train wreck of dissonant ideas in my early-morning REM state causes inspiration…

More on Chevron’s involvement in Burma from the “Oil Change” Web site.

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So, it seems a bunch of yahoos in various state and county legislatures are bound and determined to rid the place of “illegal” immigrants — “illegal”, that is, in the sense of legality randomly pulled out of some racist politician’s ass about a century or so ago. Of course, “illegal immigration” probably ranks right up there with “intellectual property” on the all-time list of concepts totally pulled out of the asses of politicians.

So, Fine. Just fine. Go ahead, make life so miserable for them that they leave. Hell, why not just deport ’em while you’re at it, if it’ll make you feel better…?

Great. They’re gone. Congratulations. So, who’s going to build your houses and fix your streets? Who’s going to clean your office building at night? Who’s going to do your landscaping work? Who’s going to be your nanny — especially at the wages they’re paid for these jobs, and considering the crap they have to put up with from employers. Most of your average Americans sure wouldn’t take those jobs because of that; either that, or — more likely — they’re all on their sofas waiting for their phones to ring with an offer to be Donald Trump’s Apprentice, or perhaps keeping their options flexible in case that lucrative position as an American Idol Winner comes open.

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Well, fan-damn tastic! The Armani Democrats are in the house! Let’s find out what new, exciting changes we’ll see on these major issues…
I’ll never forget seeing Nancy Pelosi on Meet The Press back in May; after mentioning that the impeachment of President Chimp is “off the table” — despite having a record of impeachable offenses as long as his arm — she then goes on to say that when the Democrats get a majority in Congress in November, “it’s going to be a new day”… a statement almost as cringeworthy as her appearance on the NBC Today Show in November of ’02, after her election as House Minority Leader, where she declares the Democratic leadership “stands shoulder-to-shoulder with President Bush” in the rush to war in Iraq.

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So, I guess it really does mean “Found On Road Dead”, huh? So, I’m chewing over the news of the mass layoffs at Ford recently, and I find myself asking the question that about a zillion other people in this country are asking, namely, “Is there any goddamn’ manufacturing being done at all in this goddamn’ country anymore?” and I suddenly realize, “Hell, yeah! There’s…”

And besides, think about it…you pull the patty out of the freezer, you throw it onto the grill, you throw the cheese on, you let it melt, you throw it onto a bun and wrap it in that funky foil wrap, and whammo! You’ve manufactured a burger! Now, quit whining and get me my fries.

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