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I happily confess that nearly my entire contact with Legacy Media™ these days comes from the five minutes or so I spend scoping out the front pages of the Washington Post, Washington Times, Wall Street Journal, New York Times – and the New York Post, if I think I can stand it – in search of inspiration at the newsstands of my local bodegas while out on my morning walk.

Isn’t it adorable how all the DNC can think about is getting their goddamn vote out while our neighbors are being snatched and disappeared by gangs of masked thugs, the regime is spitting in our faces on live TV and trying to provoke a civil war, and pretty much every goddamn American institution we were taught to venerate in school has turned out to be total garbage? But yeah, sure, Donkeycrats; let’s get that mid-term vote out.

And what’s with the “voter enthusiasm” thing? Goddamn Democrats can’t shut the hell up with that crap. What, are they bugged that the voters are so goddamn beat down, desperate and indoctrinated that they’re just kind of reflexively dragging their glum, dejected asses out to punch a chad, tap a screen, pull a lever, then back home for “The Price Is Right” instead of eagerly, happily, proudly – dare I say “joyfully” – skipping and singing on their way to the polls?

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I’m almost embarrassed to have to confess to having gone for the “Democrats need a clear message” horseshit for this long before some kind of metaphorical anvil fell on my head from the top of a metaphorical skyscraper and I suddenly realized that oh, f’crissake, the Democratic Party has been giving me a great big loud-ass and clear message since at least 1996, when Ralph Nader first ran on the Green Party ticket, and that clear message is —

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I’ll be absolutely 100% honest with y’all — I couldn’t pretend I didn’t enjoy this. At last, some more folks got up the cajones to put their foot down, rise up and hit the bully back. And after a year and a half of relentless US-backed oppression and genocide, Israel — like your standard-issue bully — instantly starts screaming victim and runs crying to the teacher.

I couldn’t pretend not to enjoy the footage of Israelis nervously lined up at airports, scrambling aboard buses and boats, running all over each other to get out of “their” country. What’sa matter, gang? That land was promised to you by god. What are you running for?

Trump’s remarks were real class, too — the more he bragged, the more you knew Israel was getting a first-class ass-paddling. So goddamn MUCH winning, there, Donster.

Hats off to Iran for having the strength and courage to teach Israel that actions have consequences.

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Almost as if somebody threw a switch someplace, Western media were suddenly awash in fotos and video of bombed-out buildings and people weeping for lost and missing loved ones and agonizing over the trauma of having to hole up in basements all night in… Tel Aviv.

Yes, that’s right, the capitol of the most reviled nation on Earth, led by a skeezy cabal of psychotic genocidal fascist murderers, trained and funded by an equally skeezy cabal of psychotic genocidal fascist murderers — is begging us to “not remain silent” and stand with Israel as they get some well-deserved payback at last.

All my pals and I are hashtagging this happy fun time #Karmageddon.

Cry me a goddamn river, motherfuckers. Iran’s got yer number.

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