At the Capitol Hill Teabaggers’ Rally this past July 4th, I spotted more than a few signs saying “Capitalism Works Best When Left Alone”, and it got me thinking, what vast new entrepreneurial opportunities have been denied owing to government regulations and petty tyrannies such as the Clean Water Act, The Pure Food And Drug Act, or the Glass-Steagall Act…?
The recent Teabaggers’ Shindig over at Senate Park(viewable above) has certainly left me inspired, to say the least. Never did I hear a gang of astroturfers yell more loudly about not being astroturfers even as they were funded by big, fat rightist PACs run by characters like Tom DeLay and Dick Armey, and never did I hear more yelling from a group about how they aren’t about Left or Right, even while they never missed an opportunity to slag the Left — or even on ordinary Liberals, for that matter — as the lot it was my fortune to cover this past Fourth Of July.
Even more hilarious was their total ignorance of the causes and effects of events that happened before January 20, 2009 — forgetting, for instance, that the current corporate bailout fiasco was pushed by George W. Bush. Listening to the howls from the stage and checking out the composition of the crowd, it was as if the single reaction from the Teabagger Massmind boiled down to “OMFG, the President is a N1GG3R!” — like the old-timer in Mel Brooks’ Blazing Saddles, hollering from the top of the church steeple, “Here comes the new sheriff, and he’s a big…” …and it sure as hell didn’t help any as their event was organized and staged by members of a well-known White Power band, Pokerface.
So, considering all this, I thought to myself, “Self, it’s time you did a poster that announces the imminent arrival of the National Teabaggers’ Convention coming to town on the 12th of September, and maybe inspire some of the local anarchists and antifascists to organize a little welcoming committee.” So, I did.
Medium-res jpg image, 532k
Organic cotton t-shirt at cafepress.com, $17.99
So, anyway, there’s been a lot of yammering in the press lately about President Obullshit giving a “stress test” to all the banks. Now, just so I’ve got it straight: Obama’s been pissing our tax money away on a bunch of fat, waddling, failing big-assed banks — as well as his Wall Street buddies — and he’s just now getting around to giving them a “stress test”? D’ahh ha ha ha hah. From the looks of things, those “stress tests” probably aren’t any less bogus than those cheesy “stress tests” run from kiosks or card tables on the streets by the Church of Scientology.
I don’t know about the banks, but I’m sure there’s about a hundred million or so workers and their families who are feeling pretty goddamn’ stressed right about now…
“Bipartisanship…” “On the table…” Y’know, gang, I’m actually from DC, and all this Capitol Hill Sunday Morning doubletalking bullshit still makes my brain hurt. Still, a well-informed citizen is a well-armed citizen; so, after many, many Sunday mornings of slogging through hours of Meet The Press and Hardball and Face The Nation so you don’t have to, I’ve put together this quick guide to the phrases and words you hear the most in Washington.
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