So, I’m poring over the Drudge Report in my daily search for cheap laffs, and finding out what the Enemy is up to, and I come across this Associated Press dispatch from Baghdad reporting on the Iraqi reporter who threw his shoes at President Chimp, and thinking “whoa, that’s some cheap laffs – and he almost hit the sonofabitch, too! Sweet!” and move on with whatever I was doing…

Later that day, I go by Drudge again, and find another story from Agencie France-Presse noting that the perpetrator of this “shoe-icide attack” is being hailed as a hero in most of the Arab World, and the next thing I know the whole world’s raising hell to get the guy out of prison, it’s being reported that he’s being beaten in custody, there are demonstrations and rallies all over in solidarity, and I’m thinking…holy shit, this story’s really grown some legs, man!

So, I wake up early one morning recently; as usual, my wife’s already awake and has MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” babbling on the TV. In the thinning fog of my fading Rapid Eye Movement state I hear Barack Obama telling us how he plans to continue upholding the corporate/military agenda, after which I can just make out some unhinged rightist nutcake denouncing John McCain for being too Liberal. A gaggle of pundits ranging from tepid centrist to shrieking fascist have a bitching, shouting argument over who’ll do the best job of bombing and torturing for the next four years. One pundit calls McCain a closet Liberal, another calls Obama a Socialist, and I think: jeezus, it’s too goddamn’ early for this shit. It’s only 7am, and my brain is already hurting.




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