Welp, folks, it’s official: Lis Smith is the Sidney Falco of our era. Who else would have the skills, connections, and moral turpitude to pull together this ham-handed stunt involving Pete Buttigieg riding the subway to a joint in Harlem to split a bottle of hot sauce with Al Sharpton?

It’s been reported they discussed racial disparity n’shit, but let’s get serious; this was just a freakin’ foto op. They could’ve been re-enacting the fake orgasm scene from When Harry Met Sally for all we know. I mean, c’mon, look at all the freakin’ cameras in that place, crowding the window.

The questions I’d like to ask here are: what brand is that hot sauce, and why haven’t they brought out the mayo yet? You know… that big ‘ol jar of weak, tasteless, store-brand diet mayo…? Oh, waitaminnit…

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We can hold One Nation marches every week. It will not make any difference until we revolt against the formal structures of power.

The liberal preoccupation with positive forms of propaganda ignores the root of our problem. The tea party and hate mongers on Fox such as Glenn Beck, however repugnant, are the manifestation of the crisis, not its cause. The forces assaulting the remnants of American democracy will not be cowed or discredited with rallies, such as the one in Washington on Saturday. We will blunt these rising anti-democratic forces only when we organize outside conventional systems of power.

Mass support for anti-democratic movements and public acceptance of open violations of human rights are not caused, in the end, by the skillful dissemination of misinformation or brainwashing. They are caused by the breakdown of a society and the death of a liberal class that once made reform and representative government possible. The timidity of our liberal class was on public display during the march in Washington. Speakers may have called for jobs, but none would call on citizens to abandon the rotting hull of the Democratic Party and our moribund political system or put Wall Street speculators in prison.

– Chris Hedges at TruthDig, 10.05.10

One Nation FAILing Together, more like.

Oh, how I wanted to punch this rally in the teeth.

After happily committing to blowing off that thinly-disguised Donkeycratic GOTV rally, I ended up letting my comrades in the Town Hell Posse talk me into coming out with them to shoot it with the idea of putting together a nasty, sarcastic music video to the tune of the Dead Kennedys’ Holiday In Cambodia.

Jeezus, what a huge-assed mistake. This was, without a doubt, the dullest rally ever held in DC — and I mean the Dullest. Rally. EVER. A rally made of Lame. Not even the Socialist or Green contingents could save this Lamefest. Even inasmuch as my pals warned me what I was letting myself in for, it was still a soul-crushingly wretched scene in its own way even worse than Beckapalooza was in August. No street theater, no puppets, no militant pizazz, no civil disobediences, no genuine sentiment, just a bunch of goddamn’ liberals waving mass-printed placards.I chose to cover the immigrants’ rally and feeder march because it was at the Capitol, five minutes’ walk from my house, and because the immigrants’ protests have always been better as they all come from countries where they really know how to throw a protest. Huh, some hope. The immigrants’ rally was totally overrun by SEIU jerks still proudly wearing their goddamn’ purple Obama ‘08 jackets — and featuring Al Sharpton, to boot. Augggh, Reverend Fucking Al, The Cosmic Media Attention-Sucking Vortex, spouting his standard-issue faux militant boilerplate after opening with a prayer. As usual, there was more God than I could handle at this shindig. I can handle the rightists yelling about how America needs God and Christianity, but the Liberals totally blow my gaskets with their hypocrisy about religious diversity even as they totally ignore atheists and freethinkers (such as yours truly).

It was all downhill from there. I arrived at the Lincoln Memorial just in time to hear some guy yelling about how “we can’t let Obama fail,” or some godawful shit, and I knew then that I was in for a long, hard afternoon. This Kool-Aid tripper was followed by a bunch of students taking turns reciting pieces of King’s “I Have A Dream” speech as if they were in some kind of school Christmas pageant, followed by MSNBC’s Ed “I Know No-THING” Schultz who bellowed his usual partisan line of bullshit at the top of his goddamn’ lungs. You don’t know scary until you see that windbag Schultz yelling at you from a goddamn’ Jumbotron.

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot to mention the Jumbotrons — lots of ‘em. Yeah, nothing says bottom-up, grassroots peoples’ mobilization like a fistful of Jumbotrons.

After I finished having the skin peeled off my face by Ed Schultz’s blustering, I decided I just couldn’t take any more and headed back to the Washington Monument snack bar for a hot dog and a beer or three. Normally, I just couldn’t see paying three and a half bucks for a goddamn’ Budweiser, but after witnessing that weak-assed spectacle I was more than happy for a few overpriced Buds to help me recover.

It wasn’t until I met up with the rest of the Posse and headed back to my house to review the footage that the true wretchedness of what I’d just endured really set in (I only shot about half an hour of tape that afternoon because I knew I wouldn’t be able to stand looking at it again). The more deathly dull footage I saw rolling by, the more I realized that here was five hours of my life I’ll never get back again — and more’s the pity.

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Word Of The Day: “Doughy”

From Our Better Late Than Never Department:

The Washington Post, possibly suffering a massive brain seizure due to the heat, referred to the Beckapalooza at the Lincoln Memorial as a “grassroots” event. Oh, absolutely; I’ve lost track of how many up-by-the-bootstraps, grassroots mobilizations had rallies with custom-built stages, state-of-the-art sound, high-end multi-camera video production and five or six Jumbotrons.

And, oh, did they use those Jumbotrons — to crank out a steady diet of smarmy, syrupy video trailers full of classically empty nationalistic propaganda language about the Greatest Country In The World and the Greatest People On Earth. The stage production may have been pure Albert Speer, but the video pieces were pure Reifenstahl. For a bunch of people who cherished freedom and hated being made to do something, they sure did enjoy being told what to do. Not even the most craven, tweedy Liberals enjoyed being bossed around more than this bunch.

The Posse and I could only stand in awe at the high number of pasty, doughy, Twinkie-fed folks who turned out to help Restore Honor. It’s almost a good thing Glenn Beck didn’t schedule a march, because he’d have been sued by the families of the nearly 100,000 heart attack and heatstroke victims among the roughly 200,000 who Restored Honor on Saturday. It was at this rally that the folding camp chair would become symbolic and synonymous with your slackly-rallying Teabagger.

I thought it was interesting that Beck made such a big deal about his people not bringing signs. Did they honestly think they could cover up the rank hate and racism that oozes out of them? They may not have had signs, but we saw some nasty t-shirts at that rally. Besides, we’ve already seen plenty of them for the past year and a half, so it’s not like the rest of us don’t know who they are, and where they’re from, and what they stand for, and what they’re about.

I honestly don’t know which was worse: the possibility of being threatened and roughed up by Teabaggers, or being grabbed and manhandled by Al Sharpton’s henchmen. Both of these happened Saturday — to a young man holding a “Re-Elect Obama” sign assaulted by members of Glenn Beck’s bunch at the Lincoln Memorial, and to yours truly and to fellow Posse members jerked around by the arms by parade marshals while covering the Sharpton march; what those New York guys didn’t realize is that they were in Washington, DC, which has the highest number of lawyers per square inch of anywhere in the USA, and consequently full of people who will sue your ass. God help anyone doesn’t toe the line at the Sharpton press scrum.

And speaking of our Dear Lord, there was a whole lot of God being pushed on both sides of this circus. God was asked to bless America at least twice (by both sides). God was asked to bless the crowd (on both sides). God was thanked for Martin Luther King and Barack Obama. God was invoked in remarks on religious diversity that strangely didn’t include atheists.

The opposition event wasn’t so much about whether or not they kept Beck off the Lincoln Memorials grounds as it was about Reclaiming The Dream. Organizers included the National Action Network, the SEIU, and the usual suspects, so they weren’t any more “grassroots” than the Beck event, although NAN couldn’t afford Jumbotrons. Still, while they didn’t have Jumbotrons, they did have Al Sharpton.

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