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We’ve just barely had time to hose down our street from that rank-assed “No Kings” shitfest before we get the news that these assholes are rolling into town on the 22nd of November — a quite apropos date for this shindig as I’ve often found myself wishing for a cheap Italian rifle and a school book depository lately.

This is from the same blast of inspiration which coughed up the “No Kings” flyer parody, and my disgust/amusement at the continuous parade of half-assed Democratic astroturf “Potemkin Revolutions” through my city, such as the latest partisan bitchfest headed our way next week.

Caitlin Johnstone published an excellent Substack piece recently about the flood of fake movements – mostly Democratic Party front groups – hitting us one after the other this year. It’s not just the shallow fakery that’s got me pondering, but how this strikes me as some kind of “domestic ‘color revolution'” blitz by the Democrats. Like US-backed “color revolutions” in Hong Kong or Ukraine, the DNC’s domestic version functions much the same way — divert and waste attention, time and energy and promote US capitalist interests.

It’s not enough for the DNC to suppress our voices in their media and their phony “democracy”; they have to add insult to injury by flooding the public protest space with these inane fake “movements” which cause no trouble, make no demands and constitute no threat to the State or to Capital – and so are ultimately useless.

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“Power was not challenged in any meaningful way. The status quo wasn’t disrupted in the slightest. People held up some signs saying the president is orange and that if Kamala were president they would be at brunch, and then went home.

The whole thing was just one big pep rally for the Democratic Party, designed to accomplish nothing beyond getting American liberals excited about the prospect of someday voting for Gavin Newsom…”

–Caitlin Johnstone on Substack, 10.19.2025

For real, Ms. J. I almost feel personally insulted every time these flyers hit the streets in my neighborhood for their goddamn fake-ass astroturf “movement” which seems to roll into town at least once per quarter, as if trying to make a fundraising goal. My first thought was “Christ, weren’t these assholes just in town this summer?” – and we’ve got a whole fresh load of astroturf being rolled out next week, and we haven’t even had a chance to wash the stink off the Mall from the last “No Kings” flag-kissing festival.

Hell, there’s a whole freakin’ raft of these phony-ass outfits that have suddenly sprung up like mushrooms after a summer downpour bouncing around now, and they’re all fronting for the DNC – No Kings, FiftyFiftyOne, local clowns like the Free DC Project – and obstructing real revolutionary change.

LOOK THE HELL OUT for these time wasters.

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A parody of the Washington DC flag with sandwiches in place of the stripes, in honor of a guy who threw a sub at a CPB agent downtown a few weeks ago, has gone viral and a huge hit with folks in neighborhoods like Capitol Hill. All I could think of, though, was just how toothless and ineffectual my fellow Washingtonians have apparently been in the face of a hostile military occupation; basically, the only response we can muster is to throw sandwiches. No general strikes, student walkouts being proposed or organized anywhere around here? Any disobedience – civil or otherwise – being called around town? Any organizations forming anywhere around here working on plans to make this city ungovernable? Anything at all beyond throwing sandwiches, creating celebratory t-shirt art and posting stupid jokes about it on Facebook? Nope, not seeing anything.

Well, what the hell, then; while I wait for someone to drop an action call who isn’t a freshly minted Democratic Party front – like the “Free DC Project” or those “No Kings” dipshits – here’s something which might be at least a cut or two more provocative than tossing a foot-long for all my “flypasters” out there.

Letter-size “wheatpaster”, 8 x 10 inch high-res color jpg images:
1 of 3: “Intifada DC” | 2 of 3: “Free DC” | 3 of 3: No captions

Half-size stickers, 4 x 5 inch high-res color images 2-up on 2 letter-size pages in .pdf format, 2.6mb

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