Hail To The Covids!
On top of all the uprising and rioting and pulling down statues and all that other great stuff, it looks as if Dan Snyder has finally gotten the message and is changing the name of the Washington, DC NFL franchise to something that isn’t a horrid racial slur.
With a decision like this, of course, there also comes the usual flood of suggestions and proposals — and I’m certainly not one to shirk my creative duty.
I, for one, think the new name of the team should be the Washington Covids, because our policies and attitude have been like a plague around the world, and also because Americans are pretty much banned from entering any other country on Earth at this point.
And, as luck would have it, the July 8th Washington Post featured an article which basically details the moaning and wailing from NFL sponsors and TV advertisers if the pandemic precludes any chance of even actually playing a season this year. It’s pretty obvious they don’t really give a shit about the sport; they just need some guys playing football to put on TV so that all the corporations who flushed down all that marketing cash can show us their goddamn advertising.
So, basically, no NFL = capitalism takes a bath. Cry me a goddamn river.
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Here in Washington, DC, we’re in Phase II of Pretending It’s All Over And Everything’s OK — that is, “reopening the economy”. Right about now, some restaurants are re-opening for socially-distanced dine-in — meaning, of course, lots of waitstaff and bartenders working for crap wages plus tips, many threatened with firing, desperately trying to avoid infection by getting themselves up like dentists in order to serve maskless, feckless, blissfully ignorant bougie America.
Yet another one inspired by this classic tweet from Benjamin Dixon:
Bruh, if your waiter looks like this, that means you need to take your bourgeoisie ass home and learn to cook until this thing is over pic.twitter.com/rpcpi5inh6
— Benjamin Dixon (@BenjaminPDixon) July 1, 2020
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All across the US, the economy is “reopening”. Despite new cases hitting a new record, cities all over the country are beginning to re-open bars and restaurants so that selfish, pasty-assed, whiny, non-mask-wearing America can go out and be served by people working with little or no adequate protection for crap wages and crap benefits — or often, no benefits at all. In my own hometown of Washington DC, we’re currently in Phase II of Pretending It’s Over And Everything Is OK.
Bruh, if your waiter looks like this, that means you need to take your bourgeoisie ass home and learn to cook until this thing is over pic.twitter.com/rpcpi5inh6
— Benjamin Dixon (@BenjaminPDixon) July 1, 2020
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Visible From Orbit
So, as I suspected… Mayor Bowser doesn’t really give a rat’s ass about the MPDC terrorizing and murdering Black citizens of DC, or about protesters being tear-gassed and run off the street so Trump can do his foto op at St. John’s Church, or our city being invaded by the goddamn 82nd Airborne — she just wanted to own Trump and nab some TV time.
Not even a week after painting “Black Lives Matter” in huge-ass letters taking up two blocks of 16th Street between K Street and Lafayette Park, she was browbeating the city council to “slow down” on police “reform” (clipping from Washington Post, June 11 2020).
New York City mayor De Blasio, not to be outdone, decided to name one street in each borough “Black Lives Matter Street” — after allowing the NYPD to also terrorize, beat, torture and murder New Yorkers for the better part of a week.
Still, there was no topping Bowser. All De Blasio did was put up a bunch of crummy street signs; Bowser’s hypocrisy is visible from orbit.
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