Ever since the beginning of the current Presidential “election” campaign cycle — lo, those many eons ago — the media have been buzzing about the problems the Democrats are facing keeping their supporters energized the way they were in 2008. Endless hours of airtime are packed with hack pundits and party mouthpieces scratching their heads and pretending to have no idea what the problem is when, actually, it’s so goddamn’ obvious that you just want to reach into your TV set and smack the shit out of those people.

Thankfully — and, somehow, sadly — The Onion is providing the most accurate reporting on the Democrats’ 2012 campaign. Check it out. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry.

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Continue reading "That Old ’08 Magic" »

The other night, a nasty old man got up in front of the whole country and yelled at a chair for upwards of five minutes. Normally, I’d consider this a new all-time low in American politics, except that the Democratic Convention hasn’t started yet.

This was the first time ever in my entire life that I saw a crazy old man yelling at inanimate objects who wasn’t immediately snatched up by the cops and thrown into a psycho ward.

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Continue reading "Do You Feel Lucky?" »

AURORA, Colo. (AP) – New York City’s police commissioner says the gunman in the Colorado movie theater rampage had painted his hair red and called himself the Joker — the villain from the Batman movies.

Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly said Friday that he had been briefed about the shootings that killed 12 and wounded nearly 60 others at a showing of the new Batman movie “The Dark Knight Rises” at a suburban Denver theater.

–Associated Press via ABC News, Tampa, FL

In a now-predictable pattern, less than a day after the shootings in a Colorado movie theater screening The Dark Knight Rises, Emperor Barack Obama, who claims the right to assassinate anyone at any time anywhere, who maintains a “kill list” of potential assassination victims, and whose drone strikes have murdered thousands of civilians in Afghanistan, Pakistan and Yemen, delivered the now-standard scripted Tourette’s outburst of false compassion and sympathy for murdered civilians in the Denver suburb of Aurora. Also, in a now-predictable pattern, the US news media fawned over the Boy Emperor’s gushing unflinchingly, unquestioningly, and without the slightest sense of irony, even as they neglect to report on Obama’s assassinations, mass murder, and acts of terror abroad.

As far as I’m concerned, the only difference between Boy Emperor Obama and the deranged college dropout in Colorado is that Obama has billions worth of lethal military hardware capable of killing thousands around the world along with the US mass media at his beck and call, and the deranged college dropout in Colorado had only a couple of pistols, an assault rifle, and a shotgun.

For those of you with strong stomachs, here is the complete transcript of Obama’s smarmy, hypocritical spewage at a campaign appearance in Florida.

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Continue reading "“I Am The Joker”" »

No, really, it is, at least parts of it.

I was on my way downstairs for a sandwich one late morning last week or so, and I passed by the bedroom, where the DW is catching up on some impresario chores on her laptop while the satellite box is nailed down to MSNBC. As aiways, I stop for a minute or two just to check out what they’re emitting, and it’s some woman who looked as if she were made entirely of plastic babbling an item about Hill leadership’s reaction to the discovery that the US Olympic Team’s uniforms had been made in China. Faster than you could say “eight percent unemployment”, Harry Reid and John Boehner had crapped their drawers loudly while blurting out carefully crafted Tourette’s episodes on the subject of the export of US jobs to China. After offering up this news, the anchorbabe said — for real, I shit you not — “At last, something that Democrats and Republicans can agree on.”

“…along with war, torture, censorship, warrantless surveillance, assassinations, detention without trial…” the anchorbabe neglected to add.

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Continue reading "Based On A True Story" »