The recent Teabaggers’ Shindig over at Senate Park(viewable above) has certainly left me inspired, to say the least. Never did I hear a gang of astroturfers yell more loudly about not being astroturfers even as they were funded by big, fat rightist PACs run by characters like Tom DeLay and Dick Armey, and never did I hear more yelling from a group about how they aren’t about Left or Right, even while they never missed an opportunity to slag the Left — or even on ordinary Liberals, for that matter — as the lot it was my fortune to cover this past Fourth Of July.

Even more hilarious was their total ignorance of the causes and effects of events that happened before January 20, 2009 — forgetting, for instance, that the current corporate bailout fiasco was pushed by George W. Bush. Listening to the howls from the stage and checking out the composition of the crowd, it was as if the single reaction from the Teabagger Massmind boiled down to “OMFG, the President is a N1GG3R!” — like the old-timer in Mel Brooks’ Blazing Saddles, hollering from the top of the church steeple, “Here comes the new sheriff, and he’s a big…” …and it sure as hell didn’t help any as their event was organized and staged by members of a well-known White Power band, Pokerface.

So, considering all this, I thought to myself, “Self, it’s time you did a poster that announces the imminent arrival of the National Teabaggers’ Convention coming to town on the 12th of September, and maybe inspire some of the local anarchists and antifascists to organize a little welcoming committee.” So, I did.

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Organic cotton t-shirt at cafepress.com, $17.99

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“Bipartisanship…” “On the table…” Y’know, gang, I’m actually from DC, and all this Capitol Hill Sunday Morning doubletalking bullshit still makes my brain hurt. Still, a well-informed citizen is a well-armed citizen; so, after many, many Sunday mornings of slogging through hours of Meet The Press and Hardball and Face The Nation so you don’t have to, I’ve put together this quick guide to the phrases and words you hear the most in Washington.

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So, here we are hardly a week into this Shiny New Hope™ and Change™ Era, and we’ve already pretty much seen what The One and his Donkeycratic cohorts are all about: The Future. They want to move forward, move ahead, don’t look back, don’t stop thinking about tomorrow (MoveOn just wants to take another swig of Kool-Aid and – move on). They’re so much about The Future, in fact, that they want to totally ditch the past – including their enabling of war crimes in Iraq, Afghanistan and Guantanamo, their role as accomplices in the destruction of the Constitution via USA PATRIOT, their endorsement of US-backed Israeli atrocities in Palestine.

Do you people – those of you who know who you are – honestly think the Donkeycrats will so much as lift a finger to bring the Bush mob to justice? Arrest Bush? In your goddamn’ dreams. President Timberlake has kept Robert Friggin’ Gates on as Secretary Of War, f’cripesake – not to mention that The One has also already gotten his hands bloody in Afghanistan and Pakistan this week. Does this look like the kind of guy who’s going to raise so much as a murmur of objection to the crimes of the Bush Regime, anymore than he’s spoken barely a whisper about US-financed Israeli war crimes in Gaza? Wake the hell up, US Left.

To bring Bush and the Gang to justice would require the Donkeycrats to admit to their own extensive complicity in crimes against the Constitution, international law, and humanity in general, crimes the Bush Regime could not have carried out without help from the Donkeycrats – kinda like the spot they found themselves in about ten years ago this month. To have impeached Bubba Clinton for his complete “rap sheet”, aside from all that blowjob nonsense – murderous sanctions against Iraq, the continuous bombing of Iraq, the “Lewinsky Bombing” of Afghanistan and the Sudan, the two and a half months’ continuous saturation bombing of civilians and civilian infrastructure in Yugoslavia – would have required the Donkeycrats to ‘fess up to their having allowed it with barely a peep of protest.

In other words, don’t hold your breath.

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So, I wake up early one morning recently; as usual, my wife’s already awake and has MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” babbling on the TV. In the thinning fog of my fading Rapid Eye Movement state I hear Barack Obama telling us how he plans to continue upholding the corporate/military agenda, after which I can just make out some unhinged rightist nutcake denouncing John McCain for being too Liberal. A gaggle of pundits ranging from tepid centrist to shrieking fascist have a bitching, shouting argument over who’ll do the best job of bombing and torturing for the next four years. One pundit calls McCain a closet Liberal, another calls Obama a Socialist, and I think: jeezus, it’s too goddamn’ early for this shit. It’s only 7am, and my brain is already hurting.

Then, I realize that this has been going on for over a year and will continue until November, and I think, “oh, Jeezus, no. Please. Somebody, stop this goddamn’ torture. Somebody make it stop. Somebody, anybody — make…it…STOP…!”

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