From the party that brought you DNC Dog Food, New Blue Money Detergent, Blue Box Chardonnay, and their Premier Donut Assortment now comes — DNC Ramen! Just the thing to blow that big-ass $2000 — uhh, that is, $600 + $1400 — stimulus check that we were supposed to be getting. Never mind that Gropin’ Joe, Jon Ossoff and Raphael Warnock came right out and said in front of god and everybody that their being elected would allow the immediate passage of $2000 per person in Covid’19 relief.

That would be two thousand —count ‘em — two triple-zero dollars. Not the measly $600 and the “oh, alright” $1400 after that, which is what Snopes uses to give its master class in triangulation and “meaning of is” asshattery in an attempt to “fact check” what Biden & Bros said right in front of our personal faces. Luckily, we now have fact-checker checkers.

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Ever since the 1988 Dukakis tank-driving campaign ad ushered in the modern era of media fuckery, all the way through to Nancy Pelosi’s fridge, the Democrats have been the Party Of Just Not Fucking Getting It. F’crissake, the woman who sang the Anthem at CPAC wasn’t as tone-deaf as the goddamn Democrats.

Senator Sinema a little too happy for poverty wages to remain pic.twitter.com/ze2T2CGtML

— RootsAction (@Roots_Action) March 5, 2021

And so it was that Sen. Kyrsten Sinema (D-AZ) gave us her own Marie Antoinette moment, live on C-SPAN, as she cast her “no” vote on the minimum wage raise in the current toothless COVID Relief Bill.

Have this woman’s staff and media people just once taken her aside and reminded her that C-SPAN telecasts live from the floor of the Senate, where the whole goddamn planet and their cats can see her feckless hijinks?

My guess is that people like Sen. Sinema are fully aware, but just don’t care — and that this moment is not just indicative of her own attitude, but that of the entire Democratic Party.

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Wow, that two grand sure went away in a hurry, didn’t it? I know I’m sure not feeling too grand right now. But, enough of this gay banter.

In a trademark eleventy-dimensional chess move, the Democrats’ promised $2000 stimulus checks promptly turned into $1400 shortly after the special runoff election in Georgia. Needless to say, your “progressive” voters — along with the millions about to lose their homes — are not amused.

Meanwhile, up here on Capitol Hill, shit’s gettin’ real. We’ll be back down to $600 before we know it.

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So, after all the thrashing and banging and cheap theater, the next one-time stimulus check will be a whopping-ass means-tested $600. For all the people who are sick and dying of COVID19, who are about to lose their jobs and homes, SIX HUNDRED DAMN DOLLARS.

Mind you, they practically broke their goddamn necks to approve a $740bn war budget, but for everybody out here sick, dying, unemployed, homeless…? SIX HUNDRED DAMN DOLLARS.

Luckily, we all have plenty of “understanding” to pay for our rent, groceries, utilities and COVID19 shots.

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