To think that all the arduous years I spent assiduously avoiding dropping a “fallen and can’t get up” gag could be undone by this single column at The Cradle last week. If Amerika’s imperial batshittery in Ukraine hasn’t totally wrecked our rep with the rest of the Earth, than our enabling Israeli butchery in Palestine pretty much ripped our mask the rest of the way off.

We’ve fallen, and we can’t get up.

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So, late last week, I’m hearing all this bullshit bubbling in the news about Genocide Joe calling for a “pause” in the Israel-Palestine “conflict” so that the hostages can get out safely — god bless their exceptional asses — and maybe also so that any Palestinians remaining who are actually able to move can also get out, and probably end up being bombed on the highway to the refugee camps, or bombed at the camp once they get there, or both; thanks so much, Joe.

And as I was starting to work on this piece the night before the big mobilization for Palestinian solidarity here in DC this past Saturday, I was seeing a lot of chatter on the Web about how Israel should be expelled from the United Nations for this horror — an excellent idea, though they’d never get it through because Israel’s big, fat, rich asshole Uncle has veto power at the Security Council. Still, what an awesome thought — drum the bastards outta the UN.

But, aaaanyway, yeah; El Presidente wants a “pause”.

“Pause”, my goddamn ass. Time to hit “Stop” and “Eject”. Israel is the scuffy, overplayed, worn-out, hissy old British post-punk mixtape tangled up in the Earth’s 1989 cassette/CD combo boombox, and no pencil made can save it.

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So, like any halfway-decent vile-ass racist early-stage war hysteria, the mouth-frothing claims of rape and baby-killing always get the most mileage — as always, all the way back to the goddamn Lusitania.

You can imagine my total lack of anything resembling surprise, of course, when the claims turned out to be total bullshit served up by some IDF lackey who’d already been involved in some skanky-ass shit in the settlements.

So, finally, the CNN “journalist” responsible issues a public apology — for being caught lying on the air, AGAIN… but not after the likes of Gropey Joe Biden, the New York Post, MSNBC, Fox News, Rupert Murdoch’s rags, and everybody and their goddamn uncle have blasted it all over the goddamn world — and in the same fashion that US and Western media have always lied to promote their wars, whether it’s the Tonkin Gulf, Kuwaiti Incubator Babies, Weapons Of Mass Destruction, Yellowcake Uranium, Russiagate, the Mariupol Theatre Bombing, the Uyghur Muslims, and now this horseshit.

Oh, and of course, our gal at CNN was “misled” — always, always, they’ve been “misled”, like the Representatives and Senators who jumped aboard the Iraq War bandwagon back about 20 years ago, and had themselves a big ol’ party, thinking they had an easy win until all their shit went sideways on ’em, and suddenly they were cryin’ in the media about how they were “misled”. They knew it was a metric shit-tonne of lies and bought into it anyway — then got their asses busted, and suddenly they were “misled”, the cryin’-ass losers.

But, sure, I’M the one who’s spreading “disinformation”.

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So, to recap: Apparently due to power utility malfeasance, wildfires break out on the island of Maui, State of Hawaii. Many Hawaiians die and are still dying, from all reports. Catching up with President Gropey Joe in Drunken College Dipshit Central — aka Rehoboth, Delaware — reporters asked El Presidente about the Maui situation, to which he replied “no comment” and clambered on into his Presidential Escalade.

It may be unlikely to guess the final death toll in Maui, but it’ll be easy enough to guess the total death count from the $200m in refills for their fancy truck-mounted rocket launchers to keep up their ongoing, Ukrainian meat-grinding “Duck Soup” Offensive.

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