You know the thing… but first, the Democrats are going to take one more crack at impeaching Trump for a cheap-ass little crime which they themselves weren’t complicit in, and give themselves a chance to bitch and moan on TV about the Chud Army “impeding democracy” n’shit — because even when they “win”, the Democrats are a bunch of cryin’ loser bitches.
You know the thing.
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So, after all the thrashing and banging and cheap theater, the next one-time stimulus check will be a whopping-ass means-tested $600. For all the people who are sick and dying of COVID19, who are about to lose their jobs and homes, SIX HUNDRED DAMN DOLLARS.
Mind you, they practically broke their goddamn necks to approve a $740bn war budget, but for everybody out here sick, dying, unemployed, homeless…? SIX HUNDRED DAMN DOLLARS.
Luckily, we all have plenty of “understanding” to pay for our rent, groceries, utilities and COVID19 shots.
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God, I miss Trump already — yeah, I said it, and I’d say it again if I had to. The sonofabitch isn’t even out of office yet, and I already miss him. I miss the breathtaking, aggressive stupidity, the comical blustering, and those tweets. Oh god, yeah, those tweets — every one a solid nugget of pure comedy gold.
I really was hoping for another four years of those little classics, but no luck. Instead, we’re in for four years of banal, empty, platitudinous bilge — like this little stinkburger, where he takes forever just to tell us that all we’ll likely get for coronavirus relief is another measly-ass $1200 check, and that otherwise we can go fuck ourselves. Christ, it looks like something off an old 1970s cat poster.
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“In Trump’s orbit” seems to be the favorite phrase of all the “cool kids” in the media right now after his positive COVID-19 test, rapidly gaining ground on the ever-popular “existential threat”. Without even trying, I returned an entire page of search results from newspapers, magazines, media all over the country sporting headlines or ledes with the phrase “in Trump’s orbit”. You could play a drinking game with it on cable news, but you’d end up in the ER.
So, while the media were beating this poor, misbegotten phrase to within an inch of its life, I had to ask — what, exactly, is “in Trump’s orbit”? The answer, of course, was instantly clear — spent rocket stages, dud rocket stages, derelict satellites, tools lost overboard from ISS spacewalks, the odd NRO top-secret payload, drifting fields of orbital collision debris, a Tesla roadster… wait, wut?
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