I kid you not, gang…that was the actual headline on this Associated Press story, reporting on Obama henchman Larry Summers’ remarks at a meeting of the National Economic Club of Washington, where he commented on the supposed end of the long, long dive the economy’s taking right now.

Of course, Mr. Summers coyly sidestepped any mention of when or how or how suddenly this free fall would be ending which, of course, put me in mind of all those great old Road Runner cartoons where Wile E. Coyote finds himself taking yet another long fall from the top of a tall mesa and lands so hard that he leaves an impression of himself in the ground.

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Are you getting pissed? I mean, really, REALLY pissed? Well, don’t just sit there doing bong hits and watching “Adult Swim” — ­get up, rise up, and show ’em your shoes! Show your solidarity with the Iraqi shoe-throwing reporter! Let ’em know you’re ready to “keep ’em flying”!

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So, I’m poring over the Drudge Report in my daily search for cheap laffs, and finding out what the Enemy is up to, and I come across this Associated Press dispatch from Baghdad reporting on the Iraqi reporter who threw his shoes at President Chimp, and thinking “whoa, that’s some cheap laffs – and he almost hit the sonofabitch, too! Sweet!” and move on with whatever I was doing…

Later that day, I go by Drudge again, and find another story from Agencie France-Presse noting that the perpetrator of this “shoe-icide attack” is being hailed as a hero in most of the Arab World, and the next thing I know the whole world’s raising hell to get the guy out of prison, it’s being reported that he’s being beaten in custody, there are demonstrations and rallies all over in solidarity, and I’m thinking…holy shit, this story’s really grown some legs, man!

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So, I wake up early one morning recently; as usual, my wife’s already awake and has MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” babbling on the TV. In the thinning fog of my fading Rapid Eye Movement state I hear Barack Obama telling us how he plans to continue upholding the corporate/military agenda, after which I can just make out some unhinged rightist nutcake denouncing John McCain for being too Liberal. A gaggle of pundits ranging from tepid centrist to shrieking fascist have a bitching, shouting argument over who’ll do the best job of bombing and torturing for the next four years. One pundit calls McCain a closet Liberal, another calls Obama a Socialist, and I think: jeezus, it’s too goddamn’ early for this shit. It’s only 7am, and my brain is already hurting.

Then, I realize that this has been going on for over a year and will continue until November, and I think, “oh, Jeezus, no. Please. Somebody, stop this goddamn’ torture. Somebody make it stop. Somebody, anybody — make…it…STOP…!”

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Continue reading "Decision 2008" »