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If you’re the kind of person who’s up to their goddamn neck with seeing millions impoverished and immiserated by capitalism (and I know I am) the news of the rash of warehouse arsons a couple of weeks back – including a $600m whomper in California – put a smile on your face.

As luck would have it, however, Trump’s blockade of the Iraninan blockade of the Strait Of Hormuz (you’re it, no tagbacks!) is pushing gasoline prices higher by the day, meaning that simple arson may soon be out of reach of your average pissed-off working-class wage slave.

So, as any good revolutionary would do – adapt!

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When I first got the word going around that the Citibank building in Dubai had been bombed, my first thought was “will I still have to pay my bill next month?” Then, one after the other, like Santa Claus dropping goodies on nearly every company involved in surveilling the Palestinians and supplying military intel to Israel – data centers for Amazon, Apple, Microsoft, Palantir, Oracle, Citibank… I couldn’t not pretend to enjoy capitalism’s reaction when the only thing it truly values gets the living shit blasted out of it.

“We’re sorry, but ‘Capitalism’ is 404 at this time…”

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With a big ol’ School Book Depository Anniversary Day salute to all you poor-ass marks who showed out for this shit show. For me, personally, it just wasn’t worth a whole goddamn day of hanging out listing to bitter Democrats and fauxgressives shitting all over the Left in the drizzling goddamn damp for maybe a half-hour set of Dropkick Murphys at the end of it all.

Doubtless, aforementioned marks’ nipples are certainly exploding with delight at the prospect of the DNC apparatchiks on Occupied Capitol Hill finally getting their damp, stanky little mitts on ZOMG TEH FILES… and meanwhile, I keep wondering how many Palestinians were murdered today while the Democratic Party and the New York Times and MSNOW keep yelling their goddamn faces off about Jeffrey Goddamn Epstein.

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C’mon, folks. It says what it says, right there in the Declaration, second paragraph: “throw off”. Yeah, that’s right — Intifada.When the clampdown comes down, you throw it off by any means necessary.

And if you think popular uprising against oppression is “terrorism”, maybe it’s because you’re the terrorist.

It’s time to globalize the throwing off.
It’s time to Globalize Intifada.

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