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When I first got the word going around that the Citibank building in Dubai had been bombed, my first thought was “will I still have to pay my bill next month?” Then, one after the other, like Santa Claus dropping goodies on nearly every company involved in surveilling the Palestinians and supplying military intel to Israel – data centers for Amazon, Apple, Microsoft, Palantir, Oracle, Citibank… I couldn’t not pretend to enjoy capitalism’s reaction when the only thing it truly values gets the living shit blasted out of it.

“We’re sorry, but ‘Capitalism’ is 404 at this time…”

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With a big ol’ School Book Depository Anniversary Day salute to all you poor-ass marks who showed out for this shit show. For me, personally, it just wasn’t worth a whole goddamn day of hanging out listing to bitter Democrats and fauxgressives shitting all over the Left in the drizzling goddamn damp for maybe a half-hour set of Dropkick Murphys at the end of it all.

Doubtless, aforementioned marks’ nipples are certainly exploding with delight at the prospect of the DNC apparatchiks on Occupied Capitol Hill finally getting their damp, stanky little mitts on ZOMG TEH FILES… and meanwhile, I keep wondering how many Palestinians were murdered today while the Democratic Party and the New York Times and MSNOW keep yelling their goddamn faces off about Jeffrey Goddamn Epstein.

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C’mon, folks. It says what it says, right there in the Declaration, second paragraph: “throw off”. Yeah, that’s right — Intifada.When the clampdown comes down, you throw it off by any means necessary.

And if you think popular uprising against oppression is “terrorism”, maybe it’s because you’re the terrorist.

It’s time to globalize the throwing off.
It’s time to Globalize Intifada.

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I happily confess that nearly my entire contact with Legacy Media™ these days comes from the five minutes or so I spend scoping out the front pages of the Washington Post, Washington Times, Wall Street Journal, New York Times – and the New York Post, if I think I can stand it – in search of inspiration at the newsstands of my local bodegas while out on my morning walk.

Isn’t it adorable how all the DNC can think about is getting their goddamn vote out while our neighbors are being snatched and disappeared by gangs of masked thugs, the regime is spitting in our faces on live TV and trying to provoke a civil war, and pretty much every goddamn American institution we were taught to venerate in school has turned out to be total garbage? But yeah, sure, Donkeycrats; let’s get that mid-term vote out.

And what’s with the “voter enthusiasm” thing? Goddamn Democrats can’t shut the hell up with that crap. What, are they bugged that the voters are so goddamn beat down, desperate and indoctrinated that they’re just kind of reflexively dragging their glum, dejected asses out to punch a chad, tap a screen, pull a lever, then back home for “The Price Is Right” instead of eagerly, happily, proudly – dare I say “joyfully” – skipping and singing on their way to the polls?

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