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I happily confess that nearly my entire contact with Legacy Media™ these days comes from the five minutes or so I spend scoping out the front pages of the Washington Post, Washington Times, Wall Street Journal, New York Times – and the New York Post, if I think I can stand it – in search of inspiration at the newsstands of my local bodegas while out on my morning walk.

Isn’t it adorable how all the DNC can think about is getting their goddamn vote out while our neighbors are being snatched and disappeared by gangs of masked thugs, the regime is spitting in our faces on live TV and trying to provoke a civil war, and pretty much every goddamn American institution we were taught to venerate in school has turned out to be total garbage? But yeah, sure, Donkeycrats; let’s get that mid-term vote out.

And what’s with the “voter enthusiasm” thing? Goddamn Democrats can’t shut the hell up with that crap. What, are they bugged that the voters are so goddamn beat down, desperate and indoctrinated that they’re just kind of reflexively dragging their glum, dejected asses out to punch a chad, tap a screen, pull a lever, then back home for “The Price Is Right” instead of eagerly, happily, proudly – dare I say “joyfully” – skipping and singing on their way to the polls?

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Though actually quite grim and cringe as hell, I found this news sickeningly funny somehow, in ways reminiscent of the big-ups drum beating Sept 2005 BLS jobs report the month after Hurricane Katrina. Y’think Microsoft was hoping Mickey D’s would pick up some of that layoff headcount?

Then, of course, is the cringingly upbeat economic hard-sell in the Mickey D’s announcement featuring the new Labor Secretary, and the obvious clumsy-ass tap-dancing they’re going to have to do around our new quack-ass Health & Human Services Secretary – especially seeing as Big Mac’s is one of El Presidente’s favorite brands.

You deserve a break today!

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OK, US media – and aerospace-related trade media, I’m especially looking at YOU – it’s time to cut the goddamn crap and quit calling these knobs “private astronauts” and call them what they are: “rich-ass motherfuckers who can afford to have themselves shot into space”, especially this Isaacman clown who could afford to have himself shot into space twice, and on the second flight performed the most useless-ass excuse for an EVA ever. Even Alexei Leonov was out longer, and actually managed to gather significant scientific and engineering data while in the process of getting back into the spacecraft without accidentally killing himself.

But yeah, sure… the standard-issue tech entrepreneur who has near-zero training or experience in aerospace engineering or program management or flying high-performance jet aircraft at all but who made himself a massive pile off a payment processing company he supposedly started as a teenager in his parents’ basement (your standard tech-bro rags-to-riches saga) and so was able to pay to have himself shot into space twice and who is best buds with Elon Musk is, according to the Donster, the ideal choice for NASA Administrator. Yeah, that’s right — the goddamn “private astronaut”.

We’re fucked on Earth, and fucked in space.

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If you’re a Liberal or Progressive who, at this point, is still furiously bitching about why the Democrats won’t “do something” about all this, then you’re as stupid as you look.

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